I had illustrious plans for today’s naptime. First I was going to cut my own hair, using twelve combs I got at the dollar store and the scissors I bought years ago. Why twelve combs? Would you buy ONE comb for a dollar or a pack of twelve? I bought twelve. That way the children can lose eleven of them and I can still have a comb.
People with curly hair don’t keep a lot of combs around, you see. Combs and curly hair are like carbs and Dr. Atkins. They just don’t get along.
And I was going to write, and clean the kitchen, and do some yoga. Oh and nap! Because I am so tired because I stayed up late two nights in a row. But then I had to take some ibuprofen and wait for it to work because when I get tired (or hot? or sit in the wrong position? I don’t know) I get this headache. I think in another five years it will be a migraine. Right now it is just a headache.
It took so long for the ibuprofen to kick in that by the time I could lie down for a little snooze it was already 2:10 pm. Naptime starts at 1:30. Trombone, if he is not napping, which he usually is not these days, has to stay in his room till 2:30. So I had 20 minutes to nap. Except then Trombone, who is not napping today, started opening his door and sighing.
“What is the matter,” I said. It was rhetorical. A) There is nothing wrong and B) I don’t care.
“Well my throat hurts,” he said.
“Have a drink of water,” I suggested.
OK, I am not as callous as you think; he and I had already had this conversation at 2 AM. He woke me up to tell me his throat hurt and he couldn’t yawn. He really needed to yawn! So I told him to go back to sleep and then all his problems would be solved.
But this morning he did some more Experimenting With Hulk Rage Shrieking and so his throat is sore, still, some more. Wow, 4 year olds are angry people! He sure does some shrieking lately.
“Close your door,” I said. He cried. I closed the door anyway.
That exchange took five minutes so now I am not napping but my headache is gone and I remembered that this morning I found The Best PitStick in the Whole World. You might (or might not) remember a few years ago (ed note: though it feels like years, it is only 18 months ago, actually) when I bought the Happy Time With Caring Bamboo Body Cream? (You can read about it here) Well hold on to your hats, now, there is Happy Time deodorant! OMG! BBQ! It lasts 24 hours which means I will be Happy 24 Hours.
It’s working already. See?