So. Either Modest Mouse has discovered melody and rhythm, or I have discovered the value in discordant music. I’ve been a hater of theirs since I heard the first shriek, years ago, with the “it’s all right all right on ice!!! it’s all right all right on ice!!”. Put the ice! In a drink! Drink it! Calm the fuck down!
Today I bought the new Modest Mouse album, it’s called “Good News for People who Like Bad News,” for Saint Aardvark, who put it on and then went out to buy a new screwdriver.
Urgh, I thought. Dumb Modest Mouse album and me up to the tips of my rubber gloves in dish soap. But then, there were lyrics and I could hear them and they were clever. And the boy who sings wasn’t shrieking and he wasn’t flat. Six songs later and I’m still impressed. There is still a giant wahhhhhhhhsssssshhhhhhhaaaaa !!! every now & again, but more, there is tune, harmony, melody, bass, and a concerted effort by the boy who sings to stay on tune.
The true test will be whether Saint Aardvark likes the album. Because if he doesn’t, that means Modest Mouse has become a palatable, different band and I have stayed (essentially) the same. (ie: good albums for people who like bad albums) If he does like it, of course, this means that I have become a person who can appreciate people who sing off tune and to the beat of a stuttering ice cream truck.
I’m actually okay with either of those options. Because I already know that I didn’t waste $13.99.
Also spotted – and actually fondled – in the London Drugs CD section, stocked by crackhead monkeys on parade; Barbie Pop Hits (or something quite like that title – I can’t find a reference to it on the ‘net.) It has a picture of Barbie on the cover and in tiny print below says, “songs performed by kids for kids.” And then the track list: “Hey Ya,” and I wish I could remember any of the other ones but my mind shut down and began to smoke with a noxious odour when I read “Hey Ya.” There were probably 20 tracks in total and they were all pop hits from last year. Oh yes, I remember seeing listed everyone’s favourite tune (by and) for kids, “(Hit me Baby) One more Time.”
I bought an “all over body crayon” today. I have written permission from Rimmel, (caution: deplorable use of Flash) who makes the crayon, to use it wherever I like; lips, eyes, arms, whatever. It’s such a relief to finally be able to speak honestly about what I do with eyeliner. There’s a reason most of you who know me have never seen me wearing eyeliner on my eyes. But you should see my secret, shameful handdrawn tattoos.
Speaking of tattoos, if I ever get one I want it to be from “Funhouse Tattoos” on Broadway.
Speaking of clowns, here is a description of a “handbag” I saw hanging from someone’s arm on the Skytrain Thursday morning:
About a foot wide and half a foot deep.
Handles.
A picture that looked like it had been printed on the bag from a photograph, you know the way you can take a
photo to the mall and they’ll screen print it or glue it or whatever onto a t shirt and presto! father’s day
gift? Yeah, like that.
The photo is a chihuahua’s head. Just the face and ears of a chihuahua.
The chihuahua is wearing a ruffly clown collar.
And a mini red bowler hat.
I dare you to find something more fucked up printed on a handbag.
What is also fucked up is how many chihuahuas I have seen in the past 6 hours. Something like five; all in different parts of the city. Was there a sale? Did Taco Bell go out of business?
Quick! To the border!
Here is something funny that Saint Aardvark found.