Monkey Party!

We were walking up the ramp to the overpass and Fresco was screaming, “Monkey! Monkey!” pointing out at McBride Boulevard. All I could see was traffic. No monkeys. “MONKEY!” he insisted and when he insists, you have to figure it out or he’ll just keep repeating it until you are searching for the closest ball pean hammer for taking out your own forebrain, damn the consequences. So I kept looking. I saw the Justice Institute. I saw a truck with a big McDonald’s ad on the side of it. I saw – one of those flipping roadside billboards with a picture of the Olympic Mascots.

“Monkey?” I said, pointing at the billboard. I have no idea which one he meant – to me, each looks equally like and not like a monkey.
“YEAH!” he said.
“Oh, that’s not a monkey,” I said, pedantically, “that’s a. A. An Olympic Mascot.”

***

“What’s an Olympic Mascot?” said Trombone as Fresco ran like a wild donkey down the other side of the overpass, towards the park.
“It’s a thing, a person dressed as a thing, who tells people about stuff and gives out stickers and things.” stupid stupid stupid
“I like stickers!”
“Yes, I know.”
“Are they going to the Olympics?” Thankfully I didn’t have to explain the Olympics because they are talking about them at preschool. I promise, when it’s sex-ed time I’ll pull my weight but I can’t explain the Olympics worth a damn.
“Yes, they will be around.”
“Are WE going to the Olympics?”
“Nuuuuh, no.”
“Why?”
“Because the tickets are too expensive.”
“How expensive?”
“More expensive than a gumball.”
“Oh.”

***

A few minutes later we are walking along the path to the grocery store, jumping in puddles, enjoying the sun on our shoulders. It feels like March, not early February. Trombone and Fresco have this game where they bend over a drain and then say, “DEEEE!” and laugh at each other. I can’t do it properly, only they can. They are doing that thing I was hoping they’d do, excluding me and I am determined to enjoy the exclusion while I can, until the day I start to miss them and wish they would include me more.

“Mommy?”
“Yes?”
“How can we go see the Olympic Mascots?”
“MONKEY!”
“Well, I don’t know. I guess we could go to Queen’s Park…” I was thinking out loud. I can’t seem to remember not to do that.
“Sure, let’s go to Queen’s Park!”
In for a penny… “Yeah, the Olympic Torch is going to be there.”
“What’s the Olympic Torch?”
“A party. There’s going to be a party.” (Preschooler Conversational Tip: Whenever possible, deflect from explanations you aren’t comfortable making by inserting a word that you know will thrill and amuse.)
“I LOVE PARTIES!”
“Yes, I know.”
“Can we go to the party?”
“Well, it’s during school…”
“Oh.”
“But if you wanted, you could miss school that day and we could go to the party.”
“I WOULD LIKE THAT!”
“…all right.”

Watch out Monkey(s). We’re coming.