the ultimate test

in a few minutes I am going to have what passes for supper in my world. Chips – the good kind – with chili on top – homemade of course – baked in the toaster oven. Do you see? Do you see what is missing? Is it possible to see something that is missing? Perhaps it has ceased to exist if it is no longer visible or attainable.

Is it possible to respect the holy trinity if the holy spirit is missing? Or the father? How can you eat chips with chili and no cheese? I even have cheddar in my fridge so I could put some on…just a sprinkle. But I won’t.

Though I am resentful of my own cheeselimitation, I am not having too much trouble with not eating it. I haven’t fallen off the cheesewagon once. This morning, though, it occured to me that maybe the reason I was in such a foul mood yesterday afternoon is because cheese = fat and fat feeds the brain with yummy things like good moods and without cheese I would be doomed to be a nasty horrible misanthrope. Then I remembered that I am always, with some exceptions (weddings, puppies, drunk strangers) a nasty, horrible misanthrope. Hooray! It’s not the cheese’s fault. It is probably the traffic’s fault.

Hello! Do you drive in the city, in the fall? OK! Slow down or you will die! Every day at 4 pm I hear sirens and there is an accident on the highway, which I can see from my kitchen window as I do the dishes (which are not sticky with cheese huzzah!). Some idiot is driving too fast and hits some other people and bahhhhhhhhhm that is the end of your day and some other peoples’. Plus I can’t hear my Sloan! if the sirens are going. C’mon c’mon!

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