It’s here. The new, slick, lickably shiny laptop computer I have been expecting for several weeks now.

I feel like my fingers might just slide right off the keys. There is no grit there, no crumbs of toast, no sweat, no wine, no accumulation of skin flakes. The keys click most pleasingly, though, and the span of the keyboard is wide enough to accommodate my sprawling fingers. The screen is strangely rectangular. I am reading my own words on widescreen, or so it seems.

Today I visited a friend who will have a new baby in about a month. I took her all the boxes labeled “newborn onesies” and two baby carriers and the moses basket and piled it in her living room. Touching a small, off-white t-shirt meant to fit a newborn baby, I felt not even the slightest pang of regret that my childbearing years are over. Newborns, so floppy and frail and shiny. Lickably shiny, am I right? No grease on them. All slick, touchable, infinitely droppable.

I know, babies are sweet. Their sideways smiles, their dopey eyes, their tiny fingers. I just don’t want any more. Until it’s time to get a dog, I am perfectly content to dirty up a series of new electronic devices.

(We also bought a new DVD player on the weekend. This meant we could rent movies from the movie place, something we have not done in some time, because the $30 CyberHome DVD player was not so reliable. I stood there in the movie store, staring at the wall, feeling like Encino Man. Not like watching Encino Man, but like I had just woken from a long sleep and where were all the movies I had heard of? Oh good, Burn After Reading. Perfect re-introduction to the world of cinema. So? What movies do we need to see? Any suggestions?)

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