Who of you silent readers knew that a cold medicine capsule and Busta Rhymes could make a sinus-issue-ridden girl dance with her catt in her kitchen?
I sure didn’t know.
The advantage to rarely consuming pain killers is that my tolerance for them is very low and it don’t take much to fly me sky high to the sky oh why because it’s so high.
The advantage to not having been drunk in over a month is that my overall tolerance for things that mask pain is very low, halving the time it takes me to fly sky high to the sky oh why because it’s so high. Hi!
The advantage that seems to be laughing its ass off at me right now is the mis-assumption that if I didn’t get drunk for a month I would somehow be healthier and would not get a cold.
Poor timing on my part: it’s my birthday tomorrow. I always get sick for my birthday. I’m beginning to think I was sick on my actual day of birth and that’s why I shook my fists at the cameraman. I was told there were good drugs at the end of the birth canal. Where the hell are my good drugs? My sinuses are barely formed and they’re fucking killing me!
Another day: The story of: My eternal quest for the good drugs.
Tomorrow I will turn 30 with a cold. At least it’s not strep throat. (birthdays 4-17) And at least now I have Busta.