Don’t Worry: It’s Only One of Two Posts about America’s Next Top Model

I realized today that I only have to watch tonight’s The Makeover episode of cycle 11 of America’s Next Top Model, which I am not so much watching as, well, scrubbing off in the shower, and then I don’t have to watch any other episodes until the season finale. Because the rest is just silly filler.

(Incidentally, as this is Cycle 11, do you think that means that after Cycle 12 we will have completed one Tyra year?)

Having seen half of it, the best things about The Makeover Episode are:

– Tyra hosts a princess pizza party for the hopefuls and tells everyone that she is awesome. Also, she is wearing a pantsuit.
– A pantsuit.
– Then, everyone on set drops big bowls of acid (wait for it to load, you will see what I mean) and Miss Tyra eats a poison apple and goes to sleep. Mr Jay kisses her and takes her away. She won’t be back till judging. Do we dare cheer?
– No, of course we do not. We are sad! No Tyra!
– Makeovers are interesting but I am mostly interested that they gave Elina MY HAIR and she is complaining about it.
– Although I am also fascinated that it took two fancy salon people to make hair that I did with a home bleaching kit and a bottle of red hair dye.
– I guess I will be applying for a job at Neil George salon post haste.

In other news, America’s First Next Top Model – no, not Miss Tyra, but Adrianne Curry – has a stalker who sent her expensive shoes. Pish! Stop it! Keep the shoes at your house!

That’s what I would say to my expensive-shoe-sending stalker. If I had one.

All right, y’all, farewell. I must go continue reading an excellent novel by Ivan E. Coyote called “Bow Grip.”

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