Is it like this the more children you have? You just constantly wonder what the hell you were doing all the time when you had no kids / just one kid / just two kids / just 16 kids? Luckily I don’t have to wonder, I have this ‘blog to remind me what crazy trivial things I had to think about before I had only 10 minutes a day to myself. Which is not a “oh now that I’m a mother I only think about my precious children because they are the future and everything else is trivial” thing but more a “I don’t have the time or energy to think about anything that doesn’t directly involve the things that are right in front of me demanding all my time and energy” thing.
Thank goodness in my former work life I was a fairly skilled administrative assistant. This means that when I suddenly find myself in the glorious environment that is My House with Only Me and One Other Child In It because the first child has gone out with its father I waste no time prioritizing the things I want to do and then getting right down to doing them. I make a game of it. It’s like a more trivial form of “what would you do now if you knew you would die tomorrow.” “What would you do now if you knew your sleeping infant could wake up at any moment.” Sometimes I hum the Chariots of Fire theme song to help myself stay focused.
1. shower. first time in three days. oh dear me.
2. check on sleeping infant, who is now awake but not unhappy, just listening to the opera on the CBC French FM. make mental note to be flabbergasted by this later.
3. tell infant I will be right back to pick him up after I comb my hair
4. in the time it takes to comb hair (approx 10 minutes) decide to get a haircut. TODAY.
5. check on awake infant, who has, miraculously, gone back to sleep. make mental note to buy infant a beer someday when he’s old enough.
6. eat some pizza
7. finish coffee
8. start some laundry
9. check on sleeping infant, who is still sleeping
10. call mother and chat
11. eat more pizza while staring at sleeping infant, who starts waking up
12. feed infant. he goes back to sleep.
13. decide not to risk waking him by changing his diaper. prioritize myself over child’s wet bum. do not stop to berate self for this. will buy him two beers when he’s old enough to make up for this terribly lax parenting.
14. check email and ‘blog
15. remember laundry which drying should come next. de-prioritize that until after finished ‘blog entry.
Long-time readers of this ‘blog will remember that almost two years ago I got a monumental haircut. It was during the November festival that is National Blog Posting Month so I was posting an entry to this blog every day and I milked the haircut for I think three or four daily entries. Now it is July and I really don’t need to write any more about my hair. I just need it to be shorter because a) it is very hot b) it doesn’t look like I am going to get to shower every day for another two months c) it is coming out in big handfuls and I don’t have time to comb my hair for that long d) this is boring and you’ve heard it all before. Look you’ve all gone to sleep in your little chairs!
This afternoon, infant gods willing, I am going to walk to the closest place that will cut my hair. Luckily I live in the Mizzle, where there are more places that cut hair than there are places that sell groceries so I am sure to have success. Where success = less hair. Style mileage may vary.
No time to edit! Must put laundry in dryer and then remove toenail polish from the pedicure I got 3 months ago!