It’s Been Almost 24 Hours

And still, all I can think of to write is Anne Murray, Tom Cochrane and The Guy From Triumph Who Isn’t Either of the Cool Guys But Instead Looks Like A Mortgage Broker all have the same haircut. I know this because I tripped over the Juno awards last night and I watched 10 minutes of it. Surprise! Canadian award show: still very bad after all these years! Also, Anne Murray sounded weird. I don’t care if she’s a living legend. She sounded like she hadn’t sung in 5 years.

What the hell did I do today?

1. Got up too early. I am frantically reading Babycatcher because it is the best book to read in the last 2 weeks before birthing a baby. Seriously. It’s chapter after chapter of quirky, fun, “women are incredible” labour stories as told by a midwife named Peggy Vincent. There are a couple of sad stories too. But mostly you want to raise your fist to the sky after every chapter. I read it at the end of my pregnancy with Trombone and this go-round at the library I picked up another book by another midwife but it was the opposite of Babycatcher. It was all miserable stories about hospital births gone wrong and how they would have been better with a midwife. Possibly. Not good for the insomnia, though. So I took it back and got the one I wanted. Anyway, I was reading last night until well after 10 pm which is, itself, well past my proper bedtime. Thusly, 6:15 this AM came awful harsh. I couldn’t figure out why last week’s trumpeting of sunshine out my butt had changed so abruptly into sour old man breath in my face. After an afternoon nap, I got me sunshine back. Also, the rain stopped, which was nice.

2. Went to the library again. Twice in one week. Trombone found the room of toddlers listening to storytime somewhat alarming so we steered clear – and clear again when he headed for the copy of Manga Hamlet (Um?) – straight to the oversized story books and then to the videos for a copy of the once much-hated and now much-wanted “tiger movie” (so named because it has a tiger on the cover) which teaches you how to count to 5. Three weeks ago I took this movie out thinking he would love it and he cried all the way through. Today when I said, “Let’s go to the library,” he said, “Yes! Tiger movie!” Go. Fucking. Figure.

3. Let a man into my house and he fixed my dryer oh sweet happy day. The cloth diapers will no longer be crunchy from drying on a rack. Not that I really care, because I don’t wear cloth diapers. And just think of all the energy we saved by not using our dryer since the middle of January. Just think! OK, done thinking now. Thanks.

4. Made dinner.

5. Played an elaborate and very extended game of “mummy cried too!” where I pretend to cry, Trombone comforts me and then I have to say, “Is Trombone sad?” and give him a hug and then I have to say, “Don’t be sad! Be happy!” and then he shrieks and usually trips over something in his excitement.

6. Read “Bunny’s Noisy Book” 5 times.

7. Just now I am drinking an orange soda and watching my abdomen undulate accordingly. Hippo is low, low down but I do not believe its birth is imminent. That’s for all of you who are just checking back for photos. Give it another week, I think.