I'm really a sheep in a fox costume
I don't know why I think this is a male fox. It's wearing a tunic with strawberries all over it and its eyes, on closer inspection, are large and feminine. (Have you ever noticed how female drawings have eyelashes and male drawings do not? And if you are drawing something and add eyelashes, the thing you're drawing automatically looks female. Strange, isn't it? I mean, relatively.) Plus I am reminded also of the song "Foxy Lady" which is not about a male fox at all. But I do. I think it's a male fox.
At music recitals, foxes are always showing off, playing the really hard Vivaldi pieces - blindfolded and drunk on Absinthe - and teasing the piano-playing elephants and goats about playing "Fur Elise" year after year. That's why nobody likes foxes.
But everybody likes Sweet Berries!
"Uhhh, uhhh, I think if you turn to page 45 in the first edition, volume 2 of the Encyclopaedia Nerdiramica, you'll find that the dinosaurs became extinct because they were too big to sustain themselves on the earth, because the earth was too small for them. It had nothing to do with beavers making dams and blocking the dinosaurs from getting to Taco Bell."
Sweet Berries, would you look at the size of the glasses on this poor guy? It's not bad enough that you have giant yellow teeth and you have to wear a shirt with a collar even though you're covered in fur. No, your mom can't even spring for some stylish glasses. At the rate he's going, the only love he's going to get is from Beach Chippy Number 2
What's that? Can chipmunks and beavers get it on? Why do you ask such foolish questions! This is Candy World, where what we call Reality is currently sitting in a glass jar filled with formaldehyde, being stored for future generations of mutant forest creatures to study and dismiss as irrelevant. (It's on the top shelf, right next to the jar containing the script for "Battlefield Earth II".) I think what we're getting at with nerdly the beaver is twofold: intellectuals can be sexy too because they learn from history and if you chew on too many squishy candies and not enough trees, your teeth won't get all chiseled down and you'll look like a beaver. Which is fine, assuming you're attracted to chipmunks.
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