Big Sunday

Today is Big Sunday. You can tell because there are bleachers set up on Georgia St. by the Art Gallery so people can sip hot chocolate and watch the Santa Claus Parade. There are helicopters in the sky and many babies in strollers with fruit shaped hats. You can also tell because there are already yahoos ya-hooting about BC LIONS FOOTBALL WOOOO! at 10:30 am. Here’s one:

He didn’t see me but I saw him.

The GATS has been absent. I wonder if he went to Ottawa to watch the football game. Ain’t no bigger screen than live! WOOOOO!!! LIONS! I wonder if anyone would care about this football game if hockey wasn’t on strike. I wonder if That Man on his balcony is cold. He has no shirt on.

Yesterday was Big Saturday because I got the Best Deal Ever and today? It is a minor blip on my Big Day radar.

What? Oh, the shoes? Sure, I’ll tell you about them.

We took the aquabus across the aqua. Pigeons: check. Jettas: check. Cheese festival! Check. Art by Artisans: check. We left Granville Island and walked up to my favourite shoe store but there were only ugly shoes! Loafers and the like. My favourite shoe store has not let me down in over a year. It always has at least one shoe I want but not yesterday. Nosir.

Because I had left saint aardvark at chapters to pick his way through all the candles and aromatherapy and board games to the back of the store where the books might be, I felt free to carry on up the street to Shoe Warehouse, a store which is the opposite of my favourite shoe store. It always lets me down. Stupid. Shoe. Warehouse.

But not yesterday.

Test driving my New Favourite Boots that I Just Found, Just like That! Holy Crap! around the Shoe Warehouse, I began to feel my heart beat a panicky tango. You see, I was not actually meant to be shopping for boots. I was meant to be shopping for shoes with heels to wear with my many pairs of inferior, long pants that drag on the ground if I don’t wear a shoe with a heel, which is Ridiculous because with a heel I am nearly 6 feet tall and who are these pants made for?

(Mental note: stop buying last pair of pants on rack. Think about why pants might be last pair.)

But the boots were so comfortable. They made my feet look smaller. They were made of something not leather that allowed my skin to breathe and my leg to look caressed, not too skinny or too bulgy.

At the back of the Shoe Warehouse is a section called “Clearance,” where you Buy One Get One for Half Price!

And from the Size 10 shelf, these l’il ankle boots with a nice chunky heel, they screamed at me, “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!” so I took them off the shelf and saw that they were franco sarto shoes, which are nice shoes to get on sale. My last pair of FS shoes were purchased with a serious discount. Interestingly, the sticker price on these shoes was $144 so I told them I could not try them on, but again they screamed, “Whooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeee,” as though they were being squeezed of their very lifebreath so I figured they deserved a chance.

Mmmm hmmm. S’aNiceShoe. S’aComfortableShoe. S’aExpensiveShoe. S’aImpossibleShoe.

While I talked to my feet and asked them how they were doing and which boot they preferred, because they were going to have to pick one, a small, pinchy-faced woman with Artisan Earrings gave me an evil look. I do not know why, as she was the right height to be the Perfect Size Seven so had her pick of the litter but whatever.

Then I looked at the shoe box and the shoe box said “$30.”
And I said, “What?”
And the shoe box cleared its throat and said, “$30. Then half price.”
And I said, “Whoah. That’s $15!!”
And the shoe box said, “MOVE YOUR ASS!”

So I bought two pairs of boots but mostly it was by accident.