My Annual Boot Post

In November, 2004, I bought a new pair of boots. I think they cost $50. They looked like this and they were perfect. Shiny, man-made materials made them stretch around my foot and calf and also repel water. Rubber sole that was not the kind of rubber sole that gives me electric shocks in the office. Tall to the knee. Suitable for skirts long or short. Low heel. Comfortable enough to walk to and from work and also during it or, if need be, to stand for 35 minutes on the train.

I wore them through 2004 and 2005. I skipped 2006 because I was wearing these boots in 2006, boots which are as awesome but not as office-appropriate, unless your office is a fishing boat.

A few days into fall boot season 2007, tragedy struck. The sole of the right boot began to detach from the upper. For the first day, it was just a little seam. By the second day I had my first comment from a co-worker. The third time I wore them I actually tripped myself on the gaping maw. I bought rubber cement and rubber cemented them, which worked for one day. Then I lived days 2 and 3 all over again.

I sadly started looking for a new pair. I even went back to Shoe Warehouse and looked for the same style, which they still sell. But I can no longer squeeze into a 10 and there are no 11s. I started looking other places and quickly realized that the perfect boot simply does not exist for me this year. The stores are full of booties, of ankle-highs, of “trouser boots” – peh! The knee-high boots have huge stacked or wedge or spike heels. The flat soled boots are slouchy, or suede, or have pom poms hanging from them. And the two pair that I liked didn’t come in my size because women with huge feet should suck it up and wear orthopedia already. Yes, I got the memo.

I came so close today. So close. On the top rack in the discount section, where all the excess stock is, I spied a box marked “11.” A boot sized box! Because I am tall enough to have size 11 feet, I took the box down and noted gleefully that they were marked down to $35 plus 50% off! Eeeek!

In my former life, this would have been it, the perfect moment, the sweet slowdown of the cameras to focus on me fitting my foot into this perfect $17.50-plus-tax boot. Alas. It was a style of boot that is made for size 6 feet, where the toe of the boot extends two inches past the toe of the foot. They fit great. The heel was walkable. But I looked like a champion downhill skiier.

Regrettably, they went back in the box and I continued on to the watch store where I bought myself a $10 jingly charm watch instead. It jingles! Ah, New Westminster mall. You provide me no way to impulse-buy my way into debt and for that I thank you.

Do not pity me! The other day on a leisurely stroll through downtown, I was in the vicinity of the Tall Girl Shoe Store (size 10 – 13; god bless you people for doing what you do) and I did try a fetching pair of boots on; they were of the ankle-high variety but the saleslady assured me the knee-high version, though not in stock at that precise moment, was Perfect In Every Way (TM) and wrote down my phone number to call when they arrive in the store, probably this Thursday.

Perfect enough to last 3 – or more – seasons? I won’t know till Thursday. Until then, I’ll just have to eat enough cookie dough ice cream (with brownie pieces) to stifle my anxiety.