Almost nothing makes me madder than being mad and having no one notice how mad I am.<\/p>\n
I also get really mad when people treat other people like garbage.<\/p>\n
I hate cleaning out empty yogurt containers.<\/p>\n
Sinks full of dirty dishes can never touch my bare hands.<\/p>\n
But I will pick up cat poop from the floor using only a tissue.<\/p>\n
I can’t burp. So when I get gassy in the upper register, I gurgle a lot and then get uncomfortable.<\/p>\n
This is why I am picky about what beer I drink: if it’s mostly carbonation, I can only have one. Sometimes half of one.<\/p>\n
This is also why I drink approximately one soda pop per year. <\/p>\n
My mouth is crooked.<\/p>\n
Once I heard a song on the dance radio station that I just loved. I am ashamed to admit it was by some ugly dude named Pitbull whose video displayed more tits than a field full of milking cows and now I can’t love that song anymore. <\/p>\n
I have almost no knowledge of grammar rules. I really think I was away from my desk that day in grade seven.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I get this panicked feeling that I have been spelling everything wrong forever and no one has told me.<\/p>\n
I like the look of boy short style underwear, but all that fabric bunching up in my business! I would rather wear bikini briefs.<\/p>\n
I enjoy creating analogies about the creative process more than I enjoy engaging in the creative process, unless one counts creating analogies as part of the creative process.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I forget how tall I am.<\/p>\n
With a couple of notable exceptions, I just really don’t like most small dogs. Their constant excitement makes me nervous.<\/p>\n
I love Cher, mostly because she’s an alto so I can sing along.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Almost nothing makes me madder than being mad and having no one notice how mad I am. I also get really mad when people treat other people like garbage. I hate cleaning out empty yogurt containers. Sinks full of dirty dishes can never touch my bare hands. But I will pick up cat poop from […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[32,5],"class_list":["post-65","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-listy-things","tag-my-navel-is-awesome"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=65"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":66,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65\/revisions\/66"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=65"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=65"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=65"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}