{"id":440,"date":"2013-07-24T04:54:06","date_gmt":"2013-07-24T04:54:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/?p=440"},"modified":"2013-07-24T04:54:06","modified_gmt":"2013-07-24T04:54:06","slug":"fifty-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/?p=440","title":{"rendered":"Fifty-One"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My day started with a fast. Fasting is such bullshit! <\/p>\n<p>It was so I could have an abdominal ultrasound at 9 am. Three months ago I had endured three months of nausea and finally went to a doctor about it. He referred me for an ultrasound. The nausea has since mostly resolved itself but I figured pictures of my insides are always good, so I kept the appointment.<\/p>\n<p>Fasting! People do it! Right now it is Ramadan, even, and Muslims fast every day between sun-up and sundown. I might reach a higher plane if I did that or I might just kill everyone I know. Once again I am positively reminded of my former former boss, a Muslim, who not only fasted during Ramadan but was an Imam (preacher-type) at his mosque so performed two services per day PLUS had three kids PLUS worked full time AND never once ate me alive. He could have. He didn&#8217;t. To Former Former Boss! Cheers.<\/p>\n<p>The dumbest thing is thinking about cheating on the fast. At 9 am someone is going to take a picture of my stomach with a camera. He will SEE if there&#8217;s anything in it. If I put water in it, so much as a drop, he will shake his head and cluck his tongue and make me come back in three more months! And yet, I&#8217;m standing in my kitchen this morning, empty-handed, thinking, &#8220;I could just have a sip of coffee?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I was hungry, sure, but not overwhelmingly so. It was more that my routine was disrupted. If I&#8217;m not drinking coffee and eating cereal, what the HELL am I doing? EXISTENTIAL CRISIS! So I washed dishes.<\/p>\n<p>My day ended with wine on my patio. Some neighbour was making a clapping noise and their baby was chortling. It was a good way to end.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My day started with a fast. Fasting is such bullshit! It was so I could have an abdominal ultrasound at 9 am. Three months ago I had endured three months of nausea and finally went to a doctor about it. He referred me for an ultrasound. The nausea has since mostly resolved itself but I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[48,81,69],"class_list":["post-440","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-people-are-people","tag-queasytimes","tag-summertime"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/440","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=440"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/440\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":442,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/440\/revisions\/442"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=440"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=440"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=440"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}