{"id":434,"date":"2013-07-21T16:47:45","date_gmt":"2013-07-21T16:47:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/?p=434"},"modified":"2013-07-21T16:47:45","modified_gmt":"2013-07-21T16:47:45","slug":"forty-nine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/?p=434","title":{"rendered":"Forty-Nine"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Things we did yesterday:<\/p>\n<p>1 Arlo did his Saturday morning karate class at the community centre<br \/>\n2 then we dropped kids at my parents&#8217; place for the afternoon<br \/>\n3 SA and I took the bus downtown<br \/>\n4 we went to the Alibi Room for lunch and beer<br \/>\n5 and ate brunch instead because there was no lunch yet, even though it was 1 pm, you crazy hip young people<br \/>\n6 got a stomach ache because beer at lunchtime is not usually how I roll (though it was delicious beer)(and brunch)<br \/>\n7 walked through Gastown and enjoyed the fine flora and fauna, including cruise ship tourists (so! shiny!)<br \/>\n8 took pictures and felt self-conscious about it and then noticed a guy sitting at a cafe table, taking a picture of the next cafe table through the slats of the chair and felt less self-conscious<br \/>\n9 walked up to the butt-end of Pacific Centre so SA could use the bathroom<br \/>\n10 walked through Holt Renfrew and then tried to get out of Holt Renfrew<br \/>\n11 had to be directed out of Holt Renfrew<br \/>\n12 into the mall! Which is very like a mall but much more fleh, where fleh means fancy and rich<br \/>\n13 then out of the mall onto Granville Street<br \/>\n14 there was a hip hop break-dancing demonstration on the street<br \/>\n15 those boys were young! and very good at break dancing. And sweaty!<br \/>\n16 we kept walking up Granville and then up to Chapters<br \/>\n17 though it felt kind of stupid to be in Chapters when there&#8217;s one at Metrotown<br \/>\n18 nevertheless. I needed to look at books.<br \/>\n19 ran into the dad of one of Arlo&#8217;s friends, working in the Indigo Kids section<br \/>\n20 asked him if there were any locking journals for sale (there were not)<br \/>\n21 looked at the biography section, the blank book section, the new fiction section<br \/>\n22 looked for deals, didn&#8217;t find any<br \/>\n23 got a peppermint tea from Starbucks because my stomach still hurt<br \/>\n24 considered using the bathroom but decided against it because SO MANY PEOPLE WERE IN LINE<br \/>\n25 took the escalator to the top of the store and then back down again<br \/>\n26 met up with SA again and we walked back to the butt end of Pacific Centre to use the same bathroom he used before<br \/>\n27 bought six doughnuts from Tim Hortons to share with the kids and my parents for dessert<br \/>\n28 tried to remember where the bus stop was, but couldn&#8217;t, so walked all the way back to where the bus starts<br \/>\n29 waited for the bus<br \/>\n30 saw a young woman on a fancy old-style bicycle, talking on her cell phone by holding it against her ear with her shoulder, wearing no helmet, crossing Burrard Street in a very wobbly fashion, as you would if you were riding a bike with your head glued to your shoulder<br \/>\n31 restrained myself from shouting rude things at her<br \/>\n32 rode the bus back to my parents&#8217; house and walked up the very steep hill from the bus stop and nearly expired<br \/>\n33 found the children drinking ginger ale in the back yard, covered in dirt and the remnants of face paint<br \/>\n34 entertained them until dinner time; no small feat, as they were tired and grumpy and hungry<br \/>\n35 ate delicious barbecued meats and oven baked potatoes and home grown lettuce<br \/>\n36 lingered over wine while the children entertained us with their revue show &#8220;The Idiot Children&#8221;. They called it that. Eli came in the room with his t-shirt on over his legs like pants and no shirt and said, &#8220;Greetings fellow grownups. We are the IDIOT CHILDREN.&#8221;<br \/>\n37 were somewhat irritated by the second act of The Idiot Children until we realized that Arlo had lost the second tooth on the top of his mouth so had a legitimate reason to be sucking on his shirt and interrupting our conversation with his &#8220;urgent&#8221; voice<br \/>\n38 noticed it was quite late, well past our usual departure time and encroaching on bedtime. Despite our better judgement, gave the children doughnuts for dessert<br \/>\n39 packed up our stuff and came home<br \/>\n40 fought back a jigger of road rage and kept my eyes forward while driving when a douchecanoe in a thumping bass car passed me on the right just as I was about to change lanes because I was two blocks from home<br \/>\n41 ignored Arlo asking me &#8220;what&#8217;s a douchecanoe?&#8221;<br \/>\n42 put the children to bed. Once again, Arlo decided not to leave his tooth for the tooth fairy.* That makes four teeth the tf has not been allowed to claim<br \/>\n43 poured a snifter of wine<br \/>\n44 watched an episode of Homeland on Netflix<br \/>\n45 ate a few chips<br \/>\n46 locked the door<br \/>\n47 read my book<br \/>\n48 went to sleep.<\/p>\n<p>* 49 this morning we learned that he actually *did* put his tooth under his pillow but didn&#8217;t tell us, as an experiment. He wanted to see if it was Eli who would take his tooth, or the tooth fairy.**<\/p>\n<p>** Apparently there is a tooth fairy and s\/he is a thief because the tooth is gone, no one in this house took it, and there was no money left. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Things we did yesterday: 1 Arlo did his Saturday morning karate class at the community centre 2 then we dropped kids at my parents&#8217; place for the afternoon 3 SA and I took the bus downtown 4 we went to the Alibi Room for lunch and beer 5 and ate brunch instead because there was [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[13,32,48,69,18],"class_list":["post-434","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-beer","tag-listy-things","tag-people-are-people","tag-summertime","tag-the-parenthood"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/434","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=434"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/434\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":437,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/434\/revisions\/437"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=434"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=434"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=434"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}