{"id":1003,"date":"2014-11-30T23:56:18","date_gmt":"2014-11-30T23:56:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/?p=1003"},"modified":"2014-11-30T23:56:18","modified_gmt":"2014-11-30T23:56:18","slug":"shut-the-door-november-its-cold-outside","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/?p=1003","title":{"rendered":"Shut the Door, November, it&#8217;s COLD Outside"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The trees look very male-pattern-balding with their crowns just twigs and still all bushy with leaves around the bottom. Bald men with hairy bottoms! It was a very mild week and then a snowstorm came. <\/p>\n<p>SNOW!!! The children exclaimed Saturday morning and quickly put on their snow pants and boots and hats and mitts and then froze their tushes off because it&#8217;s unseasonably cold. Usually we get snow as a precursor to rain, so it&#8217;s wet and mucky and goes away (unless it doesn&#8217;t, hey climate change). This time it basically froze right when it hit the ground so there is powdery snow that doesn&#8217;t form a snowball but instead goes poof like an icy dandelion. <\/p>\n<p>All the sidewalks are ice, which is annoying. I can&#8217;t run (very long) on ice so my run today was canceled. I&#8217;ve been running less since the half marathon anyway but I still need it for my mental health so I&#8217;m desperately trying to keep up three runs a week. <\/p>\n<p>Plus I woke up feeling still tired. And I&#8217;m freezing. So I&#8217;m grumpy.<\/p>\n<p>The sun is out. The sky is blue and the snow sits on the trees like frosting and we&#8217;re all healthy. My grumpiness stems entirely from there being an obstacle between me and what I want. <\/p>\n<p>Despite there being no fresh snow today, the early-rising, highly excitable Eli still wanted to go outside and play in yesterday&#8217;s snow at 7 am so I had to say, it is -8C and there is nothing to play with. It&#8217;s like playing in a gravel pit. It&#8217;s like playing in the middle of a skating rink with no skates on. It&#8217;s like playing in a walk-in freezer with hunks of last year&#8217;s snowballs that you insisted on freezing in ziploc bags.<\/p>\n<p>(Truth: just as I typed this, Eli came in from playing outside, carrying a small snowball. &#8220;This is for the freezer,&#8221; he said. &#8220;I&#8217;m going to label it so we don&#8217;t think it&#8217;s pie crust.&#8221; After trying to write on a snowball with a felt pen [hello metaphor] he found a small plastic bag to put the snowball in and now we have 2014 snow in our freezer hooray)<\/p>\n<p>Well, can you make waffles for breakfast, said Eli.<br \/>\nNo, I said.<br \/>\nWhy not?<br \/>\nI don&#8217;t want to.<\/p>\n<p>Arlo came downstairs.<\/p>\n<p>Eli said, I asked if she&#8217;d make waffles but she said no. She&#8217;s too&#8230; [he almost said lazy and then called back a conversation we had a couple weeks ago where I explained that actually that&#8217;s an insult] she doesn&#8217;t want to.<\/p>\n<p>Nope, I agreed. Don&#8217;t feel like it.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, said Arlo.<\/p>\n<p>I ended up making pancakes, later, after I&#8217;d had some coffee. Because kids gotta eat. While I was making the pancakes the internet radio station, called Back to the 80s, played a Front 242 song called Welcome to Paradise. It goes like this: HEY POOR. HEY POOR. YOU DON&#8217;T HAVE TO BE POOR ANYMORE. JESUS IS HERE. It&#8217;s about televangelists. I have never heard a Front 242 song on any radio, let alone an 80s throwback station that usually plays Belinda Carlisle and Falco and the Bangles. <\/p>\n<p>So delighted was I that I left the radio station on for the rest of the day. A few minutes ago, it played Don&#8217;t Worry Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin, a song I have managed to tune out for most of my life. It was on the Cocktail soundtrack and I loved Cocktail and its soundtrack but that track was not my favourite. Today I actually paid attention to it.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Put a smile on that face!&#8221; he says. &#8220;It will soon pass, whatever it is!&#8221; he says. <\/p>\n<p>Wow did I ever want to go to Bobby McFerrin&#8217;s house and punch him in the nose. But I don&#8217;t really want to go out. Instead I am feeling retroactively very sorry for the people who had personal crises the year that song came out. (I? Was fourteen, and while that was sort of a personal crisis, I&#8217;m talking more about the real kind where if you endured it while also having to hear Don&#8217;t Worry Be Happy on the radio four thousand times a day it&#8217;d make you want to hide your head in a walk in freezer full of snowballs.)<\/p>\n<p>I was going to say it&#8217;s awful and annoying like Happy by Pharrell, but then I realized that at least Pharrell is giving us the OPTION to clap along if we want to. We don&#8217;t have to. He&#8217;s talking about how HE&#8217;S happy. He totally has the right to his own happiness just like we have the right to our own sadness. <\/p>\n<p>Here we find two different approaches to cheering up the world at large. Diminishing their feelings by telling them to buck up l&#8217;il camper vs. giving them a happy model to follow\/clap along with or not. <\/p>\n<p>Maybe I&#8217;ll clap along tomorrow. When it&#8217;s December.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The trees look very male-pattern-balding with their crowns just twigs and still all bushy with leaves around the bottom. Bald men with hairy bottoms! It was a very mild week and then a snowstorm came. SNOW!!! The children exclaimed Saturday morning and quickly put on their snow pants and boots and hats and mitts and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[118,17,21,110,117,18],"class_list":["post-1003","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-80s-songs-that-do-not-stand-the-test-of-time","tag-music-soothes-me","tag-ranty-mcranterson","tag-running-for-fun","tag-snow","tag-the-parenthood"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1003","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1003"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1003\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1010,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1003\/revisions\/1010"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1003"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1003"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/the_comeback\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1003"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}