here are some things you can do to potatoes

Cheddar Cheese Potato Soup
This soup stops colds in their tracks
  • 2 tablespoons butter or olive oil, but butter is best
  • 1 onion chopped
  • 2 cloves garlic, chopped small or pressed if you have a press. Garlic presses are fun!
  • 3 medium-sized potatoes diced
  • 1.5 cups chicken stock*
  • 1 tsp thyme
  • 1.5 cups milk*
  • 1.5 cups cheddar grated. use as much as you like. I like about twice this much. Okay, three times.
  • salt, black pepper, paprika, cayenne or whatever spices you like. It's your soup!

The super creamy & delicious way - for when you've been very very good or feel very very bad

Melt butter in large pot. Add onions & garlic. Cook till tender but not screaming tender. Not quite brown.
Add potatoes, chicken stock*, thyme and bring to a boil. Make sure you don't watch.
Reduce heat & cover. Cook for 25 minutes or so, until the potatoes are cooked.
Remove half the soup and puree it. Reunite the puree with the rest of the soup. Yay! Together again!
Add the milk*.
Bring just to a boil, stirring and stirring.
Add cheese!!
Add spices!!
Add more cheese!!
Eat it!!

* So, if you have been less good or feel not so bad or if you don't have any milk, you can also substitute more chicken stock for the milk. You can also top up the chicken stock with white wine for the first, boiling-potatoes stage. White wine cooks the potatoes and thyme with good, good flavour. Oh, it will still be a creamy soup because of the pureed potatoes, but will be more brothy creamy and less cream-of-anything creamy.

AND you can add broccoli!

Grab a bunch, steam it and then puree the fuzzy tree bits. Add the green puree to the second stage of the soup when you add the other puree.
For the stalks, peel off the tough bits & discard, chop the good, tender bits, pretend they're potatoes and add them to the stock and potatoes and thyme and wine.
After you follow all the other instructions, presto! You have broccoli cheese potato soup! This is not so decadent because it's less creamy. And broccoli is a good source of vitamins.

Garnish with a sprinkle of reggiano parmesan. And nice, crusty bread.

Ontario Oven Fries
Eat with grilled foods or alone as an emergency potato fix
  • potatoes x 3
  • olive oil x 1 tbsp
  • paprika x 1 tbsp
  • cumin x 1 tbsp
  • any other spices you can think of. complimentary spices, you know, like garlic powder, oregano, chili powder, thyme, la la.
mix the oil and spices in a bowl
wash & cut the potatoes into strips of edible size. that's the torture part, so make sure you are playing suitably thrashy music. Pantera is good. Or Celine Dion.
toss the potatoes into the bowl of goo and mix 'em up
throw 'em on a slightly oiled cookie sheet. make sure they're not touching each other, or they'll get busy chatting and will forget to cook.
the oven should already be heated to 425 degrees Celsius. i probably forgot to mention it, but you should have known.
put the potatoes in for 15 minutes, them flip 'em over and cook till done.
some freakish people put stuff on their potatoes. if you do that, don't tell me about it.
actually, hot sauce is okay but that's about it.
eat them!!! listen for the screams.

find your way home
submit your potato torture methods to superstar at torturedpotato dot com.

this good food brought to you in part by the reigning king and queen of St. Joseph Island, Ontario, Highnesses Doll Maker and Moose Watcher