{"id":948,"date":"2007-11-29T21:06:22","date_gmt":"2007-11-30T05:06:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=948"},"modified":"2007-11-29T21:06:22","modified_gmt":"2007-11-30T05:06:22","slug":"the-internet-went-away-so-we-had-cookies-for-dinner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=948","title":{"rendered":"The Internet Went Away So We Had Cookies for Dinner."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>5:55 am: The Internet is broken at our house.  There are no emails, no comments to read, no waves to surf.  I put on my denim maternity dress from the SPCA Thrift Store and a sweater overtop and a pair of tights and my new boots and I get me to work, as hastily as I can, because the Internet always works there.<\/p>\n<p>8:30 am: At work there is other internet but <i>my website <\/i> is not here either; it can not be found!  I gnash my teeth and read the CBC website for a while but it isn&#8217;t the same, no not the same at all.  Already very tired of Olympic mascots, except Mukmuk, the non-mascot. Love marmots.  Love.  Marmots.<\/p>\n<p>12:03 pm: I have grown quite used to the idea of no longer having a website.  <i>I will quit nablopomo, with a good reason!<\/i> I think, <i>how can I blog, after all, if there is no blog to blog in!  I will spend the evening watching shitty TV and not thinking up anything to blog about.  Hoorah!  Hoorah!<\/i><\/p>\n<p>5:30 pm: Home, I remove my boots (whilst sitting: aha!) and my tights as well since they are maternity tights and fit funny, as in, they don&#8217;t have enough elastic to stay up, which is nice because that way Alien doesn&#8217;t boot me when the elastic cuts into my belly but not nice because I am forever hitching my bits up and no one likes that in the office.  Or on the Transit.<\/p>\n<p>6:00 pm: While Trombone scampers about the house clutching the remote control and dancing to Kanye West (I don&#8217;t know) I stare into the cupboards and freezer, waiting for inspiration to strike re: dinner but inspiration does not strike.  What, after all, can one concoct from 8 cans of beans and a box of Arrowroot cookies?<\/p>\n<p>I decide I would most like a taco.  There are no tacos.<\/p>\n<p>6:20 pm: Saint Aardvark comes home to find me barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen and about to bake chocolate chip cookies.   He takes a picture (actually rather more pictures than necessary), which gives me something to blog and now we are done.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.torturedpotato.com\/barefootkiss.jpg\"\/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>5:55 am: The Internet is broken at our house. There are no emails, no comments to read, no waves to surf. I put on my denim maternity dress from the SPCA Thrift Store and a sweater overtop and a pair &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=948\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-948","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-babby","category-food"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/948","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=948"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/948\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=948"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=948"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=948"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}