First leg of journey: bus travel<\/b><\/p>\n
Dude at the bus stop: Can I ask you a question?
\nMe: Sure
\nDude: Do you pay with coins for your busfare?
\nMe: No, I have a bus pass.
\nDude: OK.
\nDude (unfolding piece of paper from his pocket): There’s a place on Alexander where I can get a meal for a toonie
\nMe: I’m sorry, I have no money on me at all
\nDude: Sure
\nDude: I was supposed to meet a millionaire down here, see…
\nMe: Right
\nDude: …And he never showed
\nMe: Enh – millionaires are assholes
\nDude: Not all of them
\nMe: I guess not
\nDude: When I’m a millionaire, I won’t be an asshole. Because I know what it’s like to have nothing.
\nMe: True
\nDude: You have to appreciate what you have.
\nMe: Absolutely
\nDude: Have a good day
\nMe: You too.<\/p>\n
Second leg of journey: car travel<\/b><\/p>\n
Trombone: MAMA
\nMe: Trom-bone
\nTrombone: Ma-MA
\nMe: Trom-BONE
\nTrombone: MA
\nMe: TROM
\nTrombone: MUH
\nMe: TRUH
\nTrombone: MAMAMAMA!
\nMe: TROMBONETROMBONETROMBONE!
\nTrombone: Dadoo.<\/p>\n
Still on second leg. Almost home<\/b><\/p>\n
Trombone (translated from the original Whine): Why aren’t we home yet? You said we were almost home! I want to go home! I want to walk! I want to play! I want to eat!
\nMe(Gritting teeth; very hungry): We’re almost there
\nTrombone: YOU SAID THAT TEN MINUTES AGO!
\nMe: Well, then that asshat cut me off and I had to sit through 2 more lights so it’s not really my fault is it
\nTrombone: Don’t care don’t care don’t care why can’t I get my shoe off I WANT MY SHOE OFF
\nMe: OK. Here. I took your shoe off.
\nTrombone: NOW I STILL HAVE ONE SHOE ON!
\nMe: Oh for –
\nTrombone: I HATE SHOES!
\nMe: You take that back or you’re walking home.<\/p>\n
…meanwhile, inside my head…<\/b><\/p>\n
Me: I hate my job.
\nMe: But you need the money.
\nMe: I could live on less money. Look how much money I have compared to the dude at the bus stop.
\nMe: Pshaw
\nMe: Look at it this way. If I stay home with Trombone, I will be able to make sure he is not an idiot.
\nMe: What do you mean?
\nMe: Think about Boss of a Boss of a Boss of a Boss. He is an idiot. As are all the bosses in between.
\nMe: Certainly.
\nMe: If I keep going to work, not only am I unhappy, but I am just enabling more idiots. If I stay home, I am influencing the mind of a future non-idiot.
\nMe: That makes sense.
\nMe: Sure it does.
\nMe: Hmm.
\nMe: Mostly because I hate my job.
\nMe: You can do whatever you want.
\nMe: Thanks.
\nMe: You’re welcome. Maybe you should take up kickboxing.
\nMe: Yeah?
\nMe: Relieve some of that tension.
\nMe: I don’t have time to take up kickboxing.
\nMe: You’d make time if it was important.
\nMe: Okay, you shut up now.
\nMe: ‘kay.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
First leg of journey: bus travel Dude at the bus stop: Can I ask you a question? Me: Sure Dude: Do you pay with coins for your busfare? Me: No, I have a bus pass. Dude: OK. Dude (unfolding piece … Continue reading