{"id":884,"date":"2007-08-28T21:01:45","date_gmt":"2007-08-29T05:01:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=884"},"modified":"2007-08-28T21:01:45","modified_gmt":"2007-08-29T05:01:45","slug":"canttalkduckracing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=884","title":{"rendered":"Can&#8217;t&#8230;Talk&#8230;Duck&#8230;.Racing"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Last week sometime I had the brightest idea.  &#8220;I will take a day off,&#8221; I thought.  &#8220;I deserve a day off.  Hell, I deserve <i>two<\/i> days off.  MAKE IT THREE!&#8221;  Luckily I have 21 days of holidays saved up, plus a boss who believes in recreation, that is, vacation, not doing things over and over and over, and so here I am on the eve of a 6 day long weekend.  See, cause it&#8217;s a long weekend and plus I&#8217;m taking three days off beforehand and so.<\/p>\n<p>Hee!<\/p>\n<p>I think I might actually be 4 years old.  All I could do today, other than clean up enough of my work stuff so that the person sort of covering me doesn&#8217;t get mired in poop for the whole time was natter on to anyone who would listen: &#8220;I am going to the PNE and I am going to eat cotton candy and I am going to see ducks racing and I am going to look at the MIRACLE SHAMMY! but not buy one because who buys the miracle shammy?&#8221;  <\/p>\n<p>Occasionally, the silly co-workers would ask questions like, &#8220;So.  Looking forward to your vacation?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;MMMMM HMMMMMM!!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Whatcha gonna do?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;GET A HAIRCUT!  SLEEP!  EAT!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Uh, cool?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;DUCKS RACE and THERE IS POPCORN and HOT DOGS!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Yeah, cool, gotta go do something now&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;FIRE IN THE NIGHT!  FERRIS WHEEL!  CANDY APPLES!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Dispatches from the Great Pacific National Exhibition sure to follow.  <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last week sometime I had the brightest idea. &#8220;I will take a day off,&#8221; I thought. &#8220;I deserve a day off. Hell, I deserve two days off. MAKE IT THREE!&#8221; Luckily I have 21 days of holidays saved up, plus &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=884\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-884","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-outside"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/884","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=884"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/884\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=884"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=884"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=884"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}