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<\/p>\nThis morning Trombone was being a little crankpot. Saint Aardvark made a grand gesture and took him out for a walk in the rain and I stayed home to make bacon and egg sandwiches. <\/p>\n
After I shut the door after them, I felt wistful and sad. It sucks,<\/i> I thought, yes, rather petulantly, that I wait all week to spend the day with my kid and then he’s cranky. <\/i><\/p>\n
But of course,<\/i> I realized, I am the one who has attributed greater significance to this time. It’s just a day, like any other day, except I have higher expectations of it and thus am being more disappointed when those expectations are not met.<\/i><\/p>\n
It’s like when you work in retail and people say “Have a good weekend!” to you on Friday and you scowl at them and say, “Yeah, I work all weekend; this is my Wednesday,” and they say, “Oh. Sorry,” and run off guiltily. <\/p>\n
I’m all, “Hey, it’s Sunday! We’re all together as a family for ONE DAY ONLY – let’s have fun and sing songs! Why are you crying? There is no crying on Sunday!”<\/p>\n
Yeah, actually, there’s crying every day when you’re 12.5 months old. Everyday is like everyday. I’m home. I’m not home. It’s not so special.<\/p>\n
So I ate some more bacon and did me some thinking.<\/p>\n
This time, OUR time, is going to be good, bad, indifferent and wonderful. (This is also exactly the same as it has been all year but in a two-day instead of seven-day dose.) And I can either hate each moment and then regret it or just live each moment and at least know I’m living fully, not waiting for a future moment that will never – can never – arrive.<\/p>\n
Yes, I am now helping Bon Jovi write songs. Why do you ask?<\/p>\n
To honour my new mindset, I scrubbed the bathtub. As I watched the Tilex eat great swathes of clean through the grime, I realized that subconsciously I had been postponing cleaning the bathtub for some mythical day when I wasn’t
\na) at work or
\nb) enjoying not being at work. <\/p>\n
And that, in fact, no perfect, right day or time ever comes. For cleaning or living or anything.<\/p>\n
Plus yesterday? At the petting zoo? One of the goats BIT ME. It didn’t break the skin but it left a little goat-tooth-shaped bruise. I came THAT CLOSE to dying of goat poisoning. Carpe diem,<\/i> for tomorrow a goat may kill you.<\/p>\n
The troublesome goat is the one in the background. The one in the foreground was delightful.<\/i><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
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This morning Trombone was being a little crankpot. Saint Aardvark made a grand gesture and took him out for a walk in the rain and I stayed home to make bacon and egg sandwiches. After I shut the door after … Continue reading