If, over the weekend, your coffee grinder stopped working and all you had in the house was coffee beans but it was a coffee emergency! so your Aardvark and his brother, who was staying the night, went to get emergency! Tim Hortons coffee to drink right away and also a tin of the ground stuff to make a second cup so you end up drinking a cup of Tim Hortons blend coffee for your first Monday cup, it is inadvisable to go to Superstore and try to buy deodorant.<\/p>\n
Scratch that. It is inadvisable to go to Superstore and try to buy anything.<\/p>\n
Double your fun if you take a baby with you.<\/p>\n
I bought a three-pack of pit stick several years ago at Costco. I finished it recently (as I write that I think – is that a lot or a little of time to go through 3 pit sticks? Does that make me sound smelly or normal?) and bought a tube of Dove moisturizing unscented stick. I don’t like it much. I am having to turn the little knob at the bottom more frequenly than I ever did with the Degree and the unscentedness is actually a metallic odour that reacts unpleasantly with my own fragrant tang.<\/p>\n
So today as I stood before the great wall of Superstore pit stick I sought something with a scent. A light scent to blend with my own. No baby powder or sport scent (wouldn’t that just be – sweat?) or Pole Dancer or anything like that. I don’t know. I don’t know what I was looking for; didn’t you read the first paragraph about the coffee? Exactly. I actually went to Superstore for butter. Make of that what you will.<\/p>\n
Secret (strong enough for a smelly man; gentled into a shapely container for a woman’s delicate grasp) has about 400 different scents. I’m SERIOUS. “Rainy Day.” “Purple haze.” “Communist Plot.” And? “Vanilla Chai.” Guess which one I bought?<\/p>\n
Here’s a hint: my pits smell like a subtle blend of cinnamon, cardamom, vanilla, black tea and milk.<\/p>\n
Actually, they smell like the candle isle of a dollar store. But why else do I work if not to afford the little treats in life?<\/p>\n
(Now that I am home I have looked it up and it’s the Scent Expressions <\/a> line of pit stick. You can do a quiz (“Which Secret Deodorant am I?”) and it tells you which pit stick to pick. Thanks a lot, Secret. I was supposed to buy Arctic Pear. Ah, hindsight is a bitch.)<\/p>\n And yes, I also bought a tin of good coffee. <\/p>\n PS: Trombone can crawl.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" If, over the weekend, your coffee grinder stopped working and all you had in the house was coffee beans but it was a coffee emergency! so your Aardvark and his brother, who was staying the night, went to get emergency! … Continue reading