Trombone and I went for our morning walk today with the stroller, foolishly thinking that a little bit of rain and temperatures above freezing would have made the sidewalks magically clear and back to Normal Vancouver Winter Grey Cement.<\/p>\n
Ah, most of the street is clear. That’s nice.
\nOh! That was a big patch of ice under that slush. Sorry kid. Good thing I strapped you –
\ndammit now we’re stuck
\ndammit, dammit dammit
\noof.
\nooooooof.
\n<\/i>
\n“Good morning!” to a man pushing double stroller going opposite way.<\/p>\n
Sure. HE bought the all-terrain stroller. How did he know we were going to have an Ontario winter? He’s probably an ex-Ontarian with insider information.<\/p>\n
You know, for a neighbourhood where the houses cost 600 grand I’m wondering why no one can afford a snow shovel. Or some salt. You probably have $50 lemon pepper Aegean sea salt in your kitchens – why not toss some on your goddamn –
\nack.
\noooooooof.
\n<\/i>
\n“Good morning!” to old man with cane picking his way carefully down the sidewalk.<\/p>\n
OK. Maybe some of these people are too old to shovel. This house, for example. Oldsmobile in the driveway, snow piled around it. They obviously haven’t been out all week.<\/p>\n
I wonder if they’re okay.
\nMaybe I should –
\nnah. They’re fine. Look, there’s somebody cleaning the windows.<\/p>\n
Ah, more clear sidewalk. What a lovely –
\nooof. GodDAMN it. That’s it – shovel all the slush to the curb so I get stuck every. single. time. I cross the street.<\/p>\n
And you people, with the SUV in your driveway. WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE? Get out here and shovel your damn walk! <\/i> (that part might have been out loud) You can afford to drive an SUV, you can afford a damn shovel. Hell – attach a shovel to the front bumper and drive it up and down the sidewalk for all I care.<\/p>\n
Of course the SUV people might have heart conditions. Or a history of stroke. Or a muscle deterioration disease. Or maybe it’s the son’s SUV and he’s just arrived at his elderly parents’ house to clear out their papers & closets because they both died! On Christmas! But he was too busy with his own stuff to make it home for Christmas!<\/p>\n
<\/i>(Stop, kiss Trombone. Make him promise never to put me in a home. Try – and fail – to get “Cat’s In the Cradle” out of my head for the rest of the day.)<\/p>\n
Almost there, almost there, almost –
\nwell that’s unexpected. You’d think the “Legion Manor,” where everyone who doesn’t have a walker has a wheelchair would do a better job with a shovel. Liability issues? Maybe I should lose my footing and sue. That would be a fun use of my second 6 months of maternity leave.<\/p>\n
Note this, self: when Trombone is old enough, he is going door to door shovelling walks. For free for the elderly and infirm – and he will know to ask for proof of these conditions – and for a nominal fee for the rich or lazy. <\/p>\n
At last! Time for my Bacon ‘n Egger at The Most Depressing Mall In The Universe! <\/i><\/p>\n
I’ll end it there. The rest of it goes mostly mmmmmmmmm bacon.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Trombone and I went for our morning walk today with the stroller, foolishly thinking that a little bit of rain and temperatures above freezing would have made the sidewalks magically clear and back to Normal Vancouver Winter Grey Cement. Ah, … Continue reading