{"id":478,"date":"2005-07-11T21:09:44","date_gmt":"2005-07-12T05:09:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=478"},"modified":"2005-07-12T06:15:10","modified_gmt":"2005-07-12T14:15:10","slug":"watch-me-rock-mr-navarro-watch-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=478","title":{"rendered":"Watch ME Rock, Mr. Navarro! Watch ME!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I think half the contestants<\/a> on Mark Burnett’s new slice O pie, “Rock Star,”<\/a> are Carole Pope<\/a> in disguise<\/a>.<\/p>\n

You figure this show is made for me, right? Interested as I am in bad television and being a rock star? So I’m giving it a chance. 15 young hopefuls in a many-weeked audition to win, um, EARN the chance to be the lead singer for INXS. I’m sitting here, giving it a chance. <\/p>\n

– Some Australian boy who looks like Frodo just beat the shit out of “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” <\/p>\n

“Nirvana…is a tough one to tackle,” says the uber-creepy co-host Dave Navarro. He keeps making the rock N roll finger salute and rolling his eyes (his beautiful eyes). It’s gone beyond cliche now. It’s cliche puree.<\/p>\n

– Oooh! Someone’s being Courtney Love. I think it’s Avril Lavigne. Peh-tooey.<\/p>\n

– Ooooh! A young South Carolinan (Carolinian?) is doing “Heroes”. He’s doing “Heroes” up the bum, actually. Poor heroes.<\/p>\n

INXS. Who cares who leads INXS? It’s not like anyone is going to forget that Michael Hutchence existed. (or, er, how he died.<\/a>) I think it would be polite of INXS to form a new band. With a lead singer its own age. <\/p>\n

The Tampax Pearl commercials assure me that a leak would be worse but I don’t know about that. <\/p>\n

Did you see that commercial? With the girl and boy on a date in the boat and there’s a leak so the girl plugs it with her tampon which she takes from her BOX of tampons that she has taken with her on a date? Prepared for anything, today’s woman.<\/p>\n

– They’re eliminating the first rock star wannabe. There isn’t any flame to extinguish like on Survivor; just an acid washed rock star who takes the time to get down on one knee to send the first contestant home – but doesn’t take the time to remove his sunglasses. Bye bye shrieky lady. The shrieky lady did Knock Knock Knocking on Heaven’s Door and near the end she fell to her knees and shrieked and moaned at the sky. It wasn’t nice.<\/p>\n

I know<\/b> you’re wondering who the host is. I know because I was wondering too. Brooke Bunns. Burke. Brooke Burke. She walked in the room and everyone went, “Oooooh!” One of the man contestants said, “I mean – we walk into this mansion! And it’s Brooke Burke!” <\/p>\n

I’ll save you the trouble of clicking again. She appears places for a living; EA video games; celebrity lifestyle specials, like “Life is Great With Brooke Burke;” the red carpet. And so naturally this morphed into her own clothing line. And best of all, she’s married to the doctor from Extreme Makeover! Imagine: extreme makeovers whenever you wanted them! What a life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think half the contestants on Mark Burnett’s new slice O pie, “Rock Star,” are Carole Pope in disguise. You figure this show is made for me, right? Interested as I am in bad television and being a rock star? … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-478","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music","category-television"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/478","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=478"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/478\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}