{"id":416,"date":"2005-04-01T10:38:22","date_gmt":"2005-04-01T18:38:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=416"},"modified":"2005-04-23T19:34:33","modified_gmt":"2005-04-24T03:34:33","slug":"get-your-hands-off-of-my-squir-rel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=416","title":{"rendered":"Get Your Hands off of my Squir-rel!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.theglobeandmail.com\/servlet\/story\/RTGAM.20050331.wxsqui31\/BNStory\/National\/\"> This story <\/a> is really fun to read out loud.  It&#8217;s about a man, his squirrel and the government that would try to separate them.  Don&#8217;t worry: the good guys win.<\/p>\n<p>In the Vancouver Sun today, one cover story started, &#8220;If Pope John Paul II dies, who will take over his duties?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Wow!  Is there a chance he might survive the septic shock, kidney and heart failure, Parkinson&#8217;s disease and old age he has been struggling with?  Neato!  Here I thought it was a done deal &#8211; you live, you get really really sick, you die, but apparently not. <\/p>\n<p>I would like to suggest a reality show contest to choose the next pope.  If there is any place in this world for outrageous tests of courage, intelligence and the ability to live a life of calm and peace while under constant public scrutiny,  I think that place is in the Vatican to choose the next leader of the Catholic Church.  Who cares if some random hottie can eat a doughnut full of rotten meat?  I want to know what the potential pope would do when faced with such a dilemna.  So a bunch of university-addled, publicity-hounding twits can create a meatball pizza and sell it in New York for money.  Can the pope?<\/p>\n<p>That said, I do hope Pope John Paul II&#8217;s body is released from its terrible endurance test and soon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This story is really fun to read out loud. It&#8217;s about a man, his squirrel and the government that would try to separate them. Don&#8217;t worry: the good guys win. In the Vancouver Sun today, one cover story started, &#8220;If &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=416\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-416","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/416","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=416"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/416\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=416"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=416"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=416"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}