{"id":328,"date":"2004-12-11T11:14:06","date_gmt":"2004-12-11T19:14:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=328"},"modified":"2004-12-11T11:18:15","modified_gmt":"2004-12-11T19:18:15","slug":"slutty-has-two-ts-especially-when-youre-dealing-with-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=328","title":{"rendered":"Slutty has Two &#8220;t&#8221;s, Especially When You&#8217;re Dealing with Me"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>(title bastardized from a line from &#8220;underwhelmed&#8221; by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.metrotimes.com\/editorial\/story.asp?id=235\"> sloan,<\/a> the best rock band in the universe)<\/p>\n<p>This morning I got an email from a mr. magic elf who wanted me to go to his website and order some of his &#8220;sluty wives.&#8221;  He also wished me a Marry Christmas.<\/p>\n<p>Oh, I just got that.<\/p>\n<p>I love <a href=\"http:\/\/scaryduck.blogspot.com\/\"> Scary Duck.<\/a>  I think I found this site two years ago and then never went back to it.  I don&#8217;t remember how I got there this time but it sure makes me smile.  And not just because of the whole &#8220;duck&#8221; thing.  It&#8217;s less of a thing?  More of a&#8230;relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Ever hear the car commercial on the radio (probably not, as we used to hear it on CISL 650, which is the Old People Station) with the old codger describing a soccer mom in glowing terms; &#8220;She picks up the groceries, then picks up the kids from soccer practice.  When they get home, she makes them a nice cup of cocoa.  She checks their homework and tucks them in at night.&#8221;  And then the backup singers, who might be left over from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.welkshow.com\/aldridge.html\"> Lawrence Welk&#8217;s Musical Family,<\/a>(holy crap that hair) sing the name of the car dealership and the old codger says, &#8220;People don&#8217;t buy cars, they buy relationships.&#8221;  <\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s what I&#8217;ve got with ducks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(title bastardized from a line from &#8220;underwhelmed&#8221; by sloan, the best rock band in the universe) This morning I got an email from a mr. magic elf who wanted me to go to his website and order some of his &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=328\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=328"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/328\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}