{"id":290,"date":"2004-10-25T20:56:08","date_gmt":"2004-10-26T03:56:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=290"},"modified":"2004-10-26T06:03:23","modified_gmt":"2004-10-26T13:03:23","slug":"today-is-day-twenty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=290","title":{"rendered":"Today is Day Twenty"},"content":{"rendered":"

With the exception of friday night, when my exhausted mind could not conceive of a more appropriate thing to eat than 8 pieces of pizza, I have had no cheese for 20 days. This means I have beat last year’s <\/a> record of 17 days. Sort of – if you count Friday, it’s exactly 17 days again, but I don’t count Friday for many reasons, not the least of which is because on Friday at about 11 am, my face started itching. Why? Hell, if you can think of a reason, I’ll give you my left kidney. I figured if I was itchy anyway I might as well have beer and if I was going to have beer…well, you know how that party goes.<\/p>\n

We’re moving in a week – my body had better accustom herself to beer and pizza in a hurry.<\/p>\n

Currently I am surrounded by boxes and disassembled bookshelves. I love all my books and I don’t want to get rid of any, but I have managed to pick out a few to toss towards charity:<\/p>\n

The Guide to Foot Reflexology <\/b>(this is hard to do on yourself. I’m just saying.)
\nThe Real World of Canadian Politics<\/b> (has never, not once in the past 10 years been at all interesting. Did start me drinking coffee, but ‘at’s a different story)
\nOuttakes: Devotions for Girls<\/b> (a joke birthday gift from a friend to whom, to be fair, I once gave a dancing hamster that sings “The Good Old Hockey Game”)
\nGreat Love Poems<\/b> (containing a predictable amount of Shakespeare and quite a bit of Walter Savage Landor. I had never heard of WSL but I think the greeting card industry has taken quite a bit from his oeuvre:<\/p>\n

Proud Word You Never Spoke, but You Will Speak<\/b>
\nProud word you never spoke, but you will speak
\nFour not exempt from pride some future day.
\nResting on one white hand a warm wet cheek,
\nOver my open volume you will say,
\n“This man loved <\/i>me” – then rise and trip away.<\/i><\/p>\n

ahem.)<\/p>\n

Modern Canadian Plays<\/b> (Mmm. Modern like “Billy Bishop Goes to War.”)
\nPsycho-Cybernetics <\/b>(belonged to an ex-boss)
\nDo It! (Let’s Get off Our Buts!)<\/b> (got halfway through but – no really – gave up. Way too many exclamation marks. It made me feel like a sun-bleached slug on a dead end road.)
\nAwaken the Giant Within <\/b>(found on a bus bench, took as a sign, hated almost all of it. Makes me get Gowan<\/a> in my head.)<\/p>\n

Off they go, then. To greener libraries than mine.<\/p>\n

To Sum Up:<\/b>
\nFive: more nights in this house,
\nFour: more bus and skytrain rides downtown,
\nThree: giant plastic bins yet un-filled,
\nTwo: more pieces of white melamine furniture to give away, ditch somewhere or set on fire,
\nOne: more garbage day (aiiii!)<\/p>\n

OH! Th’other day, some guy S. Aardvark <\/a> works with? told him that Nickelback has done a cover of Super Bon Bon by Soul Coughing.<\/a> And it’s true! <\/a> Yack!<\/p>\n

Like someone said about “Karma in the Life,” <\/a>(go to the Samples page), which is Radiohead v The Beatles: <\/p>\n

“It makes me feel, um, uncomfortable.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

With the exception of friday night, when my exhausted mind could not conceive of a more appropriate thing to eat than 8 pieces of pizza, I have had no cheese for 20 days. This means I have beat last year’s … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/290","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=290"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/290\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=290"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=290"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=290"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}