These are challenging days in our house, in the area of siblinghood. Four-and-a-half is a creative, powerful, volatile, and angry age. Two-and-three-quarters is sweet and delightful and stubborn. Almost-thirty-seven and Almost-thirty-nine are tired and cranky. Year of the Rabbit, age of Aquarius, who knows why but there is a lot of arguing and teasing and wrestling and headlocks and screaming. Did I mention the screaming? <\/p>\n
Marilyn at A lot of Loves wrote about sibling fighting the other day.<\/a> She has the same ages as me in her house, or at least the same age spread. She pretty much nails it. I have read many books, including the bible, Siblings Without Rivalry, and had a lot of practice, so all things equal, I know how to behave with bickering and full-on body slamming. However, knowing what the right thing is to do and doing it are separated by a giant gulf sometimes. And that gulf is filled with screaming, so sometimes you just want to stay on your side of it, you know?<\/p>\n I really don’t believe there is anything abnormal about the way my kids interact. It is incredibly frustrating to deal with, mainly because I am an adult. I am comforted to see each of my children interact with other children and they behave as though they wrote the textbook on empathy and kindness. It is only with each other – and with me – and with their father – that they let out the screaming demons. I KNOW this is as it should be, that it’s because they trust and love each other and me and their father, that if they were nice and compliant at home I would worry about them being kleptomaniacs or sociopaths. I KNOW. But sometimes knowing and just wanting them to shut up for ten minutes is separated by a giant gulf. Etc.<\/p>\n This morning, while I unloaded the dishwasher, Trombone was eating his breakfast and Fresco was playing nearby. I overheard the following conversation:<\/p>\n Fresco: You have cereal. And I ate all mine. I WIN! [I melt with love but continue to ignore]<\/p>\n Fresco: You are my best brother! [pron: bruddah] (I had to spoil the magic by asking if either of them would like a sister [I’M NOT OFFERING I’m just introducing the concept of GIRLS into the house every now and again] and they looked at me like I had seventeen heads. And said no.)<\/p>\n It’s not just a cute exchange, it’s also an indication (much needed) to me that they know how valuable their relationship is. They know how to behave and how to love each other. I guess it’s just that sometimes there’s a giant gulf between knowing and doing. For everyone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" These are challenging days in our house, in the area of siblinghood. Four-and-a-half is a creative, powerful, volatile, and angry age. Two-and-three-quarters is sweet and delightful and stubborn. Almost-thirty-seven and Almost-thirty-nine are tired and cranky. Year of the Rabbit, age … Continue reading
\nTrombone: YOU DON”T WIN.
\nFresco: Ack! Trombone you are making the scary face that scares me! [terrible, wolves-eating-his-testicles noise]
\n[I wince but ignore]
\nTrombone: [scary face]
\nFresco: But Trombone, can’t you be my friend?
\nTrombone: No, I’m BETTER than your friend. I’m your brother.
\nFresco: But, but, but aren’t you my friend?
\nTrombone: I’m your brother. I help you when you fall down and I kiss your knee if it hurts and I tell Mommy if you need something. We get to play together all the time! <\/p>\n
\nTrombone: And we get to live in the same house! With friends, you only get playdates. Brothers are way better.<\/p>\n