{"id":2495,"date":"2011-01-03T18:09:44","date_gmt":"2011-01-04T02:09:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=2495"},"modified":"2011-01-03T18:09:44","modified_gmt":"2011-01-04T02:09:44","slug":"i-like-big-butts-and-i-cannot-lie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=2495","title":{"rendered":"I Like Big Butts? And I Cannot Lie?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>One of the amazing things about the Internet is how we never really know who our friends are, you know?  I mean, there are friends who will tell you you&#8217;re got lettuce stuck in your teeth, but how do you know which of your internet friends are the lettuce telling kind? YOU DON&#8217;T.  Until you ask a simple question about a particular kind of ass shape and your internet friend draws you an illustration of her ass.  And puts it on her blog.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/mmeperpetua.wordpress.com\/2011\/01\/03\/an-illustration\/\"> This is Perpetua.<\/a> She is quite fantastic.  And handy for storage!<\/p>\n<p>And so, I drew my own ass, to illustrate the wonder that is: The Flat Ass.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t mean small.  I do not have a petite ass.  I do not have an ass that fits handily in the palm of a romance novel cover hero.  Nay, I still have a significant hip girth.  Which means that from behind I am a wide load.  And from the side &#8211; hey where did it go?  <\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/butts.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/butts.jpg\" alt=\"\" title=\"butts\" width=\"500\" height=\"400\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-2496\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>No, it has nothing to do with lettuce, you&#8217;re right.  Carry on. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One of the amazing things about the Internet is how we never really know who our friends are, you know? I mean, there are friends who will tell you you&#8217;re got lettuce stuck in your teeth, but how do you &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=2495\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[456,67,313,315,314],"class_list":["post-2495","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1","tag-bloggity","tag-body","tag-buttocks","tag-pals","tag-the-flat-ass"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2495","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2495"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2495\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2497,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2495\/revisions\/2497"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2495"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2495"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2495"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}