Yesterday I bought a new puzzle. At WalMart. <\/p>\n
I know, I should buy the fair trade, organic, shade grown puzzles but I was at the mall with Fresco and I was looking for rubber boots for Trombone (surprisingly difficult to find, given that it pisses rain here 6 months out of the year, yet all I can find is SNOW BOOTS. Really? Really!) and I needed something for Fresco to hold onto while I looked for rubber boots so that he wouldn’t remove all the shoes from their racks and \/ or run off to smash an HD TV. <\/p>\n
Yes, he loves puzzles at the moment. It would be a suitable distraction.<\/p>\n
(And yes, I did find plain rubber boots in size 11 for Trombone at WalMart. I knew I would, but it was still my last resort.)<\/p>\n
It would be quick and easy to select a puzzle, I thought. But first I had to find the puzzles, which was hard because: <\/p>\n
a) the first four isles were Toy Story Stuff
\nb) Fresco loves loves loves anything Toy Story related.<\/p>\n
I had to pick him up and put my hand over his face while I hustled past the shelf with the Talking! Musical! Buzz Lightyear! Then we bustled past the Thomas the Tank Engine displays with only a quick glance at the Smurfs (Smurfs are back, apparently) and finally I found the puzzle shelf. One shelf. Slightly bigger than a breadbox. It contained, in the appropriate 24 – 50 piece jigsaw range:<\/p>\n
– glow in the dark puzzles
\n– 3D puzzles
\n– puzzles that are holograms
\n– puzzles that are magnets so you can do your puzzle on the fridge?? because having a kid sit in front of the fridge is convenient for everyone?
\n– one puzzle that didn’t do any tricks. It had kittens on it.<\/p>\n
It is hard, it turns out, to find nice, 24 – 50 piece jigsaw puzzles that are not FANCY or MAGIC. Why would a puzzle glow in the dark? Are you DOING puzzles in the dark? Turn a light on!<\/p>\n
I wanted to buy the kitten puzzle but Fresco didn’t want it. He wanted the magnetic one because it was a Toy Story puzzle and he loves Toy Story because Trombone loves Toy Story and also we already have a Toy Story puzzle and kids like things that look like the things they already have. And also TOY STORY.<\/p>\n
“No,” I said, “not that one. How about this one? It has kittens!”
\n“Don’t like kittens,” he said, “like BUZZ LIHHHYEEAH! To infinity! And beyonnnnn!”<\/p>\n
Eventually I distracted him with a Thomas the Tank Engine puzzle (you know I am desperate if I am choosing Thomas because I don’t like that Thomas, not one bit) that claimed to be a Magic Hologram and we brought it home and took it out of the box. Which is when I fully understood the implications of a HOLOGRAM puzzle. Like puzzles aren’t hard enough, this one’s pieces look one way now and whoops! another way when you look at them from over here. <\/p>\n
Trombone did the puzzle, no problem. Of course, he is 4 and it’s rated for 3s and over. Fresco tried to do the puzzle and got exasperated. I tried to do the puzzle and it gave me a headache.<\/p>\n
I know. It’s WalMart. What do I expect. But come on – a puzzle is a simple toy, easy to make, box, ship, sell. It doesn’t have to do any additional tricks – the trick is, it’s a bunch of pieces of cardboard that, when you put them together right, make a picture! THAT is the trick. <\/p>\n
Luckily I am not a parent ten years from now when the puzzles, when assembled, will come to life on your table, tell you a Disneyfied story tangentially related to the puzzle, and then charge your credit card for the privilege.<\/p>\n
\/grumpy old lady out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Yesterday I bought a new puzzle. At WalMart. I know, I should buy the fair trade, organic, shade grown puzzles but I was at the mall with Fresco and I was looking for rubber boots for Trombone (surprisingly difficult to … Continue reading