So. Either Modest Mouse has discovered melody and rhythm, or I have discovered the value in discordant music. I’ve been a hater of theirs since I heard the first shriek, years ago, with the “it’s all right all right on ice!!! it’s all right all right on ice!!”. Put the ice! In a drink! Drink it! Calm the fuck down!<\/p>\n
Today I bought the new Modest Mouse album, it’s called “Good News for People who Like Bad News,” for Saint Aardvark, who put it on and then went out to buy a new screwdriver.
\nUrgh,<\/i> I thought. Dumb Modest Mouse album and me up to the tips of my rubber gloves in dish soap.<\/i> But then, there were lyrics and I could hear them and they were clever. And the boy who sings wasn’t shrieking and he wasn’t flat. Six songs later and I’m still impressed. There is still a giant wahhhhhhhhsssssshhhhhhhaaaaa !!! every now & again, but more, there is tune, harmony, melody, bass, and a concerted effort by the boy who sings to stay on tune.<\/p>\n
The true test will be whether Saint Aardvark likes the album. Because if he doesn’t, that means Modest Mouse has become a palatable, different band and I have stayed (essentially) the same. (ie: good albums for people who like bad albums) If he does like it, of course, this means that I have become a person who can appreciate people who sing off tune and to the beat of a stuttering ice cream truck.<\/p>\n
I’m actually okay with either of those options. Because I already know that I didn’t waste $13.99.<\/p>\n
Also spotted – and actually fondled – in the London Drugs CD section, stocked by crackhead monkeys on parade; Barbie Pop Hits (or something quite like that title – I can’t find a reference to it on the ‘net.) It has a picture of Barbie on the cover and in tiny print below says, “songs performed by kids for kids.” And then the track list: “Hey Ya,” and I wish I could remember any of the other ones but my mind shut down and began to smoke with a noxious odour when I read “Hey Ya.” There were probably 20 tracks in total and they were all pop hits from last year. Oh yes, I remember seeing listed everyone’s favourite tune (by and) for kids, “(Hit me Baby) One more Time.”<\/p>\n
I bought an “all over body crayon” today. I have written permission from Rimmel,<\/a> (caution: deplorable use of Flash) who makes the crayon, to use it wherever I like; lips, eyes, arms, whatever. It’s such a relief to finally be able to speak honestly about what I do with eyeliner. There’s a reason most of you who know me have never seen me wearing eyeliner on my eyes. But you should see my secret, shameful handdrawn tattoos.<\/p>\n Speaking of tattoos, if I ever get one I want it to be from “Funhouse Tattoos” on Broadway. <\/p>\n Speaking of clowns, here is a description of a “handbag” I saw hanging from someone’s arm on the Skytrain Thursday morning:<\/p>\n About a foot wide and half a foot deep. I dare you to find something more fucked up printed on a handbag.<\/p>\n What is also fucked up is how many chihuahuas I have seen in the past 6 hours. Something like five; all in different parts of the city. Was there a sale? Did Taco Bell go out of business?<\/p>\n Quick! To the border!<\/p>\n Here <\/a> is something funny that Saint Aardvark found. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" So. Either Modest Mouse has discovered melody and rhythm, or I have discovered the value in discordant music. I’ve been a hater of theirs since I heard the first shriek, years ago, with the “it’s all right all right on … Continue reading
\n Handles.
\n A picture that looked like it had been printed on the bag from a photograph, you know the way you can take a
\n photo to the mall and they’ll screen print it or glue it or whatever onto a t shirt and presto! father’s day
\n gift? Yeah, like that.
\n The photo is a chihuahua’s head. Just the face and ears of a chihuahua.
\n The chihuahua is wearing a ruffly clown collar.
\n And a mini red bowler hat.<\/p>\n