{"id":1523,"date":"2009-07-10T14:56:57","date_gmt":"2009-07-10T22:56:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1523"},"modified":"2009-07-10T14:56:57","modified_gmt":"2009-07-10T22:56:57","slug":"one-year-later","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1523","title":{"rendered":"One Year Later"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Computer: Owwwwwww.<br \/>\nMe (pause typing): What is it?<br \/>\nComputer: It hurrrrts&#8230;<br \/>\nMe: What hurts?<br \/>\nComputer: Everythinnnnnnng.<br \/>\nMe (sighing, kind of sick of whiners): Well, have a rest, then.<br \/>\n&#8230;..<br \/>\n&#8230;..<br \/>\n&#8230;&#8230;<br \/>\nMe: OK it&#8217;s been a few minutes, you can boot now.<br \/>\nComputer: &#8230;<br \/>\nme: Helllllooooooooo?<br \/>\nComputer: &#8230;<br \/>\nMe: Oh you do NOT do this to me again. Not after <a href=\"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1093\"> last year.<\/a>  A new OS, a new power adapter, a new copy of iLife &#8211; I PAID MONEY FOR SOMETHING CALLED &#8220;iLIFE&#8221;!<br \/>\nComputer (weakly): Hmmmmm?<br \/>\nMe (panting, slightly sweaty): How are you feeling?<br \/>\nComputer: <i>Chaise lounge!<\/i><br \/>\nMe: What?<br \/>\nComputer: <i> Splendido sauces for noodle monkey!<\/i><br \/>\nMe: Shit.<br \/>\nComputer: <i>No pasa.  No pasa.<\/i><br \/>\nMe: Shit shit shit shit shit.<br \/>\nComputer (singing): A long, long time ago&#8230;and I can still remember&#8230;how that music used to make me smiiiiiiiillllllle&#8230;<br \/>\nMe: I guess I&#8217;d better order that Dell.<br \/>\nComputer (stops singing): What?  Me?  I&#8217;m fine.  Fiiine.  Just a little, erm, warm tortilla?  Toenails a little crunchy.  Um, what I mean to say, because of the ice cream&#8230;but I don&#8217;t have your mail, though.  Sorry about that.  No mail here.<br \/>\nMe: You are not fine. You make me nervous.  I&#8217;m ordering a new laptop. (typing)<br \/>\nComputer: <i>nooooooooooo! No web browser for youuuuuuuuu&#8230;.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>(If I am missing from the Internet for a while, it is because I am having to record my thoughts on a pad of paper until the new, (as yet, unordered, shhhh) laptop arrives from its magical fairyland birthplace.  And no, friends, it will not be another Mac because a) I cannot afford to support the Volkswagan of Computers until I am getting a paycheque, b) for what I&#8217;m using it for, the Dell with the Ubuntu on it will be just fine.) <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Computer: Owwwwwww. Me (pause typing): What is it? Computer: It hurrrrts&#8230; Me: What hurts? Computer: Everythinnnnnnng. Me (sighing, kind of sick of whiners): Well, have a rest, then. &#8230;.. &#8230;.. &#8230;&#8230; Me: OK it&#8217;s been a few minutes, you can &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1523\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[150,151],"class_list":["post-1523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1","tag-computers","tag-ibook-bye-bye"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1523","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1523"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1523\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1527,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1523\/revisions\/1527"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1523"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1523"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1523"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}