{"id":139,"date":"2004-03-01T08:57:55","date_gmt":"2004-03-01T15:57:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=139"},"modified":"2004-03-01T08:57:55","modified_gmt":"2004-03-01T15:57:55","slug":"orange-is-the-colour-of-my-true-loves-cheese","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=139","title":{"rendered":"Orange is the colour of my true love’s cheese."},"content":{"rendered":"

While I am drawn to Jack Layton <\/a> because he’s a true NDPer and I believe the same things he believes, it really helps that his theme colour is orange. Go Jack! <\/p>\n

I wish Svend Robinson was the leader of the Federal NDP. But he didn’t want to run, so he’s not. Check the photo halfway down this page <\/a> of Jack and Svend at Vancouver Pride. Jack’s got some muscle going on! He’s a brave man to wear that shirt in public! Maybe enough Svend will rub off on Jack and Jack can be prime minister. That would be OK. I want Svend #1 Jack #2 or Eugene Levy #3 to be prime minister. <\/p>\n

Western Alienation? Bah! Doesn’t exist. Money\/taxes\/healthcare: so much bafflegab. All the samey-same no matter who you vote for. (Oh I still vote. But it’s not such a dramatic event like, say, a BC election, [440 days left, everybody! start sharpening your pencils!] where we get a new wacko every 4 years because the last wacko does something dumb and the media crucifies him and the people go flash<\/i> like Men in Black and forget all the things they learned in school about how to vote.) How my future leader looks in a tank top: now there’s<\/b> an issue. Think of it: if the Canadian electoral process was a reality show then we could learn all kinds of things about the candidates. And it could be broadcast on CBC and then there wouldn’t be any room for Cirque du Soleil.<\/p>\n

On “Canada’s Next Top Prime Minister,” the candidates share a luxury residence at 24 Sussex Drive and must learn to live with each other without the help of maids, cooks, butlers or spouses while completing a series of challenges designed to reveal which is the best person for the job of Canada’s Prime Minister.<\/i> <\/p>\n

Episode one: The candidates have to balance the budget in 24 hours without killing anybody, losing any money, drinking Tim Hortons Coffee or using a calculator. The candidate with the most balanced budget wins the challenge.<\/p>\n

Episode two: The candidates travel to a nearby country where democracy has ceased to exist in any form and spend a week helping to set up an interim democratic government that runs the Canadian Way. The candidate who attracts the most attention from the foreign country’s press wins the challenge.<\/p>\n

Episode three: Candidates debate “the big issues” while stoned and wearing tank tops. Note: must be BC marijuana.<\/p>\n

Episode four: The candidates fight over whose turn it is to put out the garbage; Paul has a breakdown; Jack and Belinda bond during a leaf-raking session on the front lawn. The candidates must each sing O Canada in tune, in English and French. Daniel Lanois judges.<\/p>\n

Episode five: Belinda tries to get Jack to join her in an alliance against Paul. Jack refuses and reminds Belinda that no one in Canada is to say the word “alliance” for at least 10 years. The candidate challenge is to fake a serious illness and get treatment in an underfunded Toronto hospital. The candidate who gets the fastest treatment wins the challenge. Disguises are used so that no one recognizes the candidates.<\/p>\n

Episode six: Election day! As a final challenge, the candidates are sent to vote but each is given a disability; Belinda is blind, Paul is deaf, Jack is in a wheelchair. The election results are broadcast live, pulling in a whopping 17 million viewers. Better than Canadian Idol!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

While I am drawn to Jack Layton because he’s a true NDPer and I believe the same things he believes, it really helps that his theme colour is orange. Go Jack! I wish Svend Robinson was the leader of the … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-139","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=139"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/139\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=139"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=139"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=139"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}