{"id":123,"date":"2004-02-06T09:20:03","date_gmt":"2004-02-06T16:20:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=123"},"modified":"2004-02-06T09:20:03","modified_gmt":"2004-02-06T16:20:03","slug":"big-nipples-to-axl-rose","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=123","title":{"rendered":"Big Nipples to Axl Rose!"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s Axl Rose’s birthday today! Go here <\/a> for Axl Rose’s StarBio Natal Horoscope. Or for your own, if today is your birthday.<\/p>\n

Understatement of Today<\/b> comes from Axl’s horoscope:<\/p>\n

“…you’re not the most practical person in the world. You may even be a bit spacey. In fact, sometimes you may wonder if you are of this world. Try using a to do list to your advantage. Train yourself to do important things with the force of habit. You may be disinterested in the mundane.”<\/i><\/p>\n

The last time I saw Axl, he was wearing a Mickey Rooney Halloween mask from the party supply store. Attached to it was a nest of you’re-asking-for-your-head-to-be-set-on-fire braids made of multi-coloured, synthetic spaghetti. (perhaps leftovers from the “incident”?) It looked a lot like this:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

“To do:
\n– Fire Michael Jackson’s stylist
\n– Crank-call Slash once a week
\n– Show up for concert tour.”<\/p>\n

(that lovely photo which will now haunt you as it does me came from this site<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

Why did the snake dance never catch on? In clubs and whatnot. I never saw people snake-dancing. <\/p>\n

I find it is the easiest dance to do. I do it waiting for the bus. Perhaps my long torso and flailing limbs make me a natural. Having long hair to swish around really helps. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This Halloween I think I will be Old School Axl Rose. My hair should be long enough by then.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s Axl Rose’s birthday today! Go here for Axl Rose’s StarBio Natal Horoscope. Or for your own, if today is your birthday. Understatement of Today comes from Axl’s horoscope: “…you’re not the most practical person in the world. You may … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=123"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/123\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}