{"id":1206,"date":"2008-12-17T15:17:48","date_gmt":"2008-12-17T23:17:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1206"},"modified":"2008-12-17T15:17:48","modified_gmt":"2008-12-17T23:17:48","slug":"graphic-tales-and-mixed-blessings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1206","title":{"rendered":"Graphic Tales and Mixed Blessings"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>1. Trombone likes to poop on the potty.  No!  I am not complaining.  But he likes to poop on the potty so much that he won&#8217;t leave it until the poop comes.<\/p>\n<p>I see why people put this off, this potty training thing.  On the one hand, yes, I know it can take time to poop.  But on the other, he is smart enough to know that after potty comes nap.  And before potty comes 3 books but if I read to him while he&#8217;s on the potty he gets 5, 6, 7 books.  Half the time the poop comes.  The other half I read books for 30 minutes when I could be snacking on bonbons.  Who&#8217;s the sucker.  Adult diapers here we come.<\/p>\n<p>2. Fresco has just learned to clap his hands.  He claps when you ask him to.  He claps when you sing &#8220;If you&#8217;re happy and you know it&#8230;&#8221; and he claps spontaneously when he is happy.  (He even clapped when Trombone finally pooped on the potty after 15 minutes of &#8220;I know it&#8217;ll be here any minute&#8230;&#8221;)  It is pretty adorable.<\/p>\n<p>Just now I was helping him get to sleep, something that is taking more and more time and strength these days.  I switched gears and instead of pinning his arms down and keeping the soother in his mouth with my elbow, I put him up against my shoulder, patted his back and started humming a lullaby.  He pulled back to look at me, wrested his hands from against my chest and started applauding.<\/p>\n<p>3. As you who read here often already know, Trombone likes to sing.  He used to be able to carry a tune.  Today all he will sing is &#8220;Jingle Bells&#8221; and &#8220;Nonsense Words to the Tune of Jingle Bells&#8221; and his own version of &#8220;Jingle Bell Rock&#8221; that goes, &#8220;Jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell RIGHT jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell RIGHT jingle bell jingle bell&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Well, you get the idea.  The first few times I tried correcting him, but most of you know that correcting a 2.5 year old is folly.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t know if he is imagining a sleigh ride going in squares or if he is stating a political preference or if he has a speech impediment involving the substitution of the word RIGHT for ROCK in which case I can&#8217;t wait until he forms that Queen cover band (We will \/ we will \/ RIGHT YOU!) and frankly I don&#8217;t much care.  It is cold, windy and snowy outside, we are inside thinking about how I was going to get the snow tires put on the car last week, the baby keeps crawling into the fireplace and I just want to not hear the tuneless, loud voice of my firstborn chanting nonsense at me until I shatter into tiny pieces.  I do not think that is so much to ask.<\/p>\n<p>Whenever Trombone does this nonsense chanting \/ singing I am reminded of (and comforted by) <a href=\"http:\/\/isoglossia.com\/2007\/11\/26\/which-ought-to-come-standard-with-home-pregnancy-tests-in-the-first-place\/\"> this post<\/a> by the hilarious Mr. Isoglossia, who also does the most wonderful (and sometimes chilling, considering I am approximately 2 years behind him with my own dear boyspawn) <a href=\"http:\/\/isoglossia.com\/category\/adam-and-alek\/?submit=Go+to+pigeonhole\"> monthly reports<\/a> to his two boys.<\/p>\n<p>Happy note, see?  Leaving you on a happy note.  Alrighty.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>1. Trombone likes to poop on the potty. No! I am not complaining. But he likes to poop on the potty so much that he won&#8217;t leave it until the poop comes. I see why people put this off, this &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1206\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[92,471,94,93,454,472],"class_list":["post-1206","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1","tag-cranky-bitch","tag-fresco","tag-other-people-good","tag-snowy","tag-trombone","tag-two-children"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1206","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1206"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1206\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1207,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1206\/revisions\/1207"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1206"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1206"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1206"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}