{"id":1107,"date":"2008-09-17T20:05:09","date_gmt":"2008-09-18T04:05:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1107"},"modified":"2008-09-17T20:05:09","modified_gmt":"2008-09-18T04:05:09","slug":"dont-worry-its-only-one-of-two-posts-about-americas-next-top-model","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1107","title":{"rendered":"Don&#8217;t Worry: It&#8217;s Only One of Two Posts about America&#8217;s Next Top Model"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I realized today that I only have to watch tonight&#8217;s The Makeover episode of cycle 11 of America&#8217;s Next Top Model, which I am not so much watching as, well, scrubbing off in the shower, and then I don&#8217;t have to watch any other episodes until the season finale.  Because the rest is just silly filler.<\/p>\n<p>(Incidentally, as this is Cycle 11, do you think that means that after Cycle 12 we will have completed one Tyra year?)<\/p>\n<p>Having seen half of it, the best things about The Makeover Episode are:<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Tyra hosts a princess pizza party for the hopefuls and tells everyone that she is awesome.  Also, she is wearing a pantsuit.<br \/>\n&#8211; A pantsuit.<br \/>\n&#8211; Then, everyone on set <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cwtv.com\/thecw\/americas-next-top-model11-photogalleryhub\"> drops big bowls of acid <\/a>(wait for it to load, you will see what I mean) and Miss Tyra eats a poison apple and goes to sleep.  Mr Jay kisses her and takes her away.  She won&#8217;t be back till judging.  Do we dare cheer?<br \/>\n&#8211; No, of course we do not.  We are sad!  No Tyra!<br \/>\n&#8211; Makeovers are interesting but I am mostly interested that they gave <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cwtv.com\/thecw\/gen-gallery-antm11-models\/4\/1\"> Elina<\/a> MY HAIR and she is complaining about it.<br \/>\n&#8211; Although I am also fascinated that it took two fancy salon people to make hair that I did with a home bleaching kit and a bottle of red hair dye.<br \/>\n&#8211; I guess I will be applying for a job at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.neilgeorgesalon.com\/\"> Neil George salon <\/a>post haste.<\/p>\n<p>In other news, America&#8217;s First Next Top Model &#8211; no, not Miss Tyra, but Adrianne Curry &#8211; has a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sfgate.com\/cgi-bin\/blogs\/sfgate\/detail?blogid=7&#038;entry_id=30413\"> stalker who sent her expensive shoes. <\/a> Pish! Stop it! Keep the shoes at your house!<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s what I would say to <i>my<\/i> expensive-shoe-sending stalker.  If I had one.  <\/p>\n<p>All right, y&#8217;all, farewell.  I must go continue reading an excellent novel by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ivanecoyote.com\/\"> Ivan E. Coyote<\/a> called &#8220;Bow Grip.&#8221; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I realized today that I only have to watch tonight&#8217;s The Makeover episode of cycle 11 of America&#8217;s Next Top Model, which I am not so much watching as, well, scrubbing off in the shower, and then I don&#8217;t have &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1107\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43,57,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","category-hair","category-television"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1107","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1107"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1107\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}