{"id":1044,"date":"2008-05-14T20:11:54","date_gmt":"2008-05-15T04:11:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1044"},"modified":"2008-05-22T13:44:44","modified_gmt":"2008-05-22T21:44:44","slug":"shiver-me-timbers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1044","title":{"rendered":"Shiver Me Timbers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Red letter night; the size &#8211; what, 8? &#8211; &#8220;full figured&#8221; Whitney won America&#8217;s Next Top Model tonight.  Hoorah!  But I think the best part of the show for me was when Tyra, reviewing the photos where the contestants posed in a puddle of water, said, &#8220;Oh, it&#8217;s Cletus the Fetus!&#8221; and then made a grunting noise and a popping noise and said, &#8220;Look, it&#8217;s my baby!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tyra?<\/p>\n<p>Miss Tyra?<\/p>\n<p>Miss All-Knowing, All-Holy, All-Everything Tyra?<\/p>\n<p>You are fucking nuts.<\/p>\n<p>Now I have to go to bed because Saint Aardvark and I agreed this morning that we would stop being stupid and acting like we <b>don&#8217;t<\/b> have two children with vastly different schedules. We&#8217;ve been staying up till 11 every night saying &#8220;we can sleep tomorrow&#8221; no actually we can&#8217;t, we can NEVER SLEEP AGAIN so I must hie away but before I do, I needed to share my brilliant idea.<\/p>\n<p>OK so you know how there&#8217;s the blogosphere (this is disputed in some circles, ahem, like in my brain where that is the stupidest fucking term)?  And you know how there are mommybloggers god help us I also really detest that term  &#8211; another post for another day. Well today I decided that the place where the mommybloggers (and daddybloggers too, to be fair) do their bloggging?  Should be called the SPROGOSPHERE!  Ha!  Right?<\/p>\n<p>The Cheeseblog:  Because if you hate the bastardization of language, you should totally participate in it!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Red letter night; the size &#8211; what, 8? &#8211; &#8220;full figured&#8221; Whitney won America&#8217;s Next Top Model tonight. Hoorah! But I think the best part of the show for me was when Tyra, reviewing the photos where the contestants posed &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/?p=1044\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,44,16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1044","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bloggity","category-language","category-television"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1044","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1044"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1044\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1044"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1044"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/torturedpotato.com\/cheeseblog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1044"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}