Wait – there are only three emails in my work inbox. Why would that be? Oh yes, IT’S MY LAST DAY OF WORK! (and all I do is pee) <\/p>\n
Thanks be to:<\/p>\n
– The guy on my tuesday\/wednesday\/thursday bus home who got off at the same stop as me and always held the bus door before scampering across 12th street quick and wiry while I plodded to the light and waited.<\/p>\n
– The 5 people who have offered me their seats on public transit in the past 6 months.<\/p>\n
– The real, live goth I sat next to on the bus a few weeks ago. Wearing 8 inch soles on his boots, purple hair, black eyeliner and a very sober expression. I was embarrassed to be listening to Bruce Cockburn on my music player but I’m pretty sure the goth boy didn’t know.<\/p>\n
– The woman who waters the plants at my office every Thursday. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. One time I wrote a story about a woman who watered plants in an office and I feel bad about it now because the real plant girl is nothing like the character I created.<\/p>\n
– The guy at work who said to me yesterday, referring to the Hippo, “Do you know what you’re having?” and when I said no, he said, “It’s like that old joke – if my uncle dresses up like a woman, is he my aunt?” What? WHAT? Dude, you are crazy.<\/p>\n
– The bathroom cleaning guy whom I had not seen before nor since, who, when I got into the elevator with him a couple of months ago, said, “IT’S A BOY!” while pointing to my belly.<\/p>\n
– Jojo, my awesome replacement at work, who said to me, on her fourth day on the job, “Boy, people sure ask you a lot of stupid questions that they should already know the answers to, don’t they?” I love you, Jojo. Enjoy the fame my position brings you.<\/p>\n
– Co-worker G, who gave me cupcake cups with little feet and a container full of barnyard animal-shaped sprinkles today so that Trombone and I can make cupcakes together before the new baby comes. Gee, is Trombone very excited about that, do you think? Holy shit.<\/p>\n