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Is Dave Matthews old enough to have a son who has his own band? The resemblance between him & John Mayer is creepy, but not in an interesting way. Dave Matthews and John Mayer are Edam and Mild Gouda, respectively. … Continue reading →

If Maria Shriver was a cheese, she would be a cheese knife

What would pizza taste like without cheese? Maybe it’s actually the bread part I crave. And the sauce. Bread and sauce is good without cheese. Pretend you are lactose intolerant. Eat peanut butter. Don’t tell your mother what you’re doing, … Continue reading →

nothing happened.

The novelty has officially worn off. I want jalapeno poppers, greasy on the outside and filled with fake spicy cheese. I want nachos, real ones with fresh cut salsa and three types of cheese melted on top. I want fresh … Continue reading →