Where do they go when they're gone? Should I have taken my puppet to that party and then gotten drunk and forgotten it there? Is my puppet watching over me? Will I ever see my fine-fuzzied, obedient friends again?
You may never again touch your fuzzy buddy in quite the same way, but here on the Puppet Angels page, special treasured friends are memorialized with a photo (digitally enhanced to emulate the possible "afterlife experience") and a small biography to keep them living in our hearts forever.
Out of respect for our sensitive ears, no half-brained midi versions of "Wind Beneath My Wings" or "Your Song"will play.
| Wally was born in the city of Melbourne, Australia in
He never did get to wander free, climbing trees and playing with his wombathood buddy KoalaMate. However, he did get to live in a fantastically quiet stuffed animal store for the majority of his life.
"I remember the lady who packed me into the shipping box to go from
the factory to the store," he said in an interview with the Puppet Free
Press shortly before his disappearance, "We were so sad that day, me and
the other Australian Species puppets. But we didn't know why. Sammy
[the Emu] kept crying and pecking at his own feet."
Wally lived in the tourist store for seventeen years before he was purchased. He came to Canada in the arms of a 5 year old girl. Shortly after she turned 6, Wally was viciously kidnapped in the jaws of a small, desperate live terrier. It is not certain by any means that he has died,however, he is gone from us and we dedicate this phrase to him:
"He who jumps o'er hill and dale
| Born in 1990 and
disappeared in a haze of mystery and gun smoke in the
early hours of January 1st, 2000|
They were christened "G" and "T" for their maternal grandparents but they preferred to be called P.Di**y and J.*o - mostly on Saturday nights under the lights of a glittery disco ball and surrounded by thousand dollar bills coated with the highest grade of blow known to man or duck, squawking their love to everyone around them and grabbing the mic from the dj to create their own phat beats. To most, they were known as the Duck Twins.
More straight-laced members of the community thought the twins' carefree, renegade natures were beyond reprehensible. As teen ducks, they overturned parked cars, with the help of the mysteriously tormented "Vaken the Bad". As young adults, they made their fortune stealing loaves of bread right out of old ladies' hands and reselling them at inflated prices to domestic ducks trapped in suburban lakes and at local beaches. Most famously, though, the Duck Twins were responsible for the "Wal-Mart Duck-o Inferno".
A cool November morning in 1999 found G and T sitting in the backseat of their chauffeur-driven Jaguar, heading to an infamous part of town: Mallairdville. It was a neighbourhood without a Welcome sign and without limits. It was a neighbourhood with a Wal-Mart.
All Wal-Mart cashier Billy knew that morning was that his cash register kept opening and closing on its own, accompanied by the sporadic blinking of the overhead lights and infrequent blasts of (Burn Baby Burn) Disco Inferno through the ordinarily muzak-ridden sound system. Meanwhile, the Duck Twins were standing at the loading dock, with Vaken the Bad keeping watch over the trussed and blindfolded warehouse workers.
Soon, four-star guests began arriving, including The R**k and Elvis C**tello, brandishing fistfuls of money and cartons of crack and within an hour, the Wal-Mart was cleared of its sub-standard clientele and staff and was hopping with the sounds and sights of a full-on Disco Boogie Dance Party. All thanks to the tiny, industrious minds of two ducks who were never told they couldn't dream. Their disappearance was widely credited to a small militia group, Free Trapped Ducks, which, to this day, hides behind a successful, international floral business.
To P.Di**y and J.*o, wherever you are: know you are missed and loved, y'all. Get Down Tonight! Raise a Little Hell! D-to-the-U-to-the-C-to-the-K! Word!
Vaken The Bad
Vaken the Bad always preferred to speak for himself in life. We encourage him to do so here, as well. As if we have a choice.