Sums

A year is an incredibly long time. Trombone is constantly asking how long things are, unmeasurable and unexplainable things like time and distance and whatever I answer he says, “oh that’s a long time.” For example, last week, “When is Christmas?” he asked. “Three days,” I replied. “Oh that’s a long time.” “Oh yeah?” I countered, “not as long as 365 days is it?” “No,” he said. “So,” I said.

Yeah. Fist bump. My logic has slayyyyed a 3.5 year old.

(Until ten minutes from now when he asks again.)

As I was saying, a year is an incredibly long time. I am reading all these year in review posts and thinking, gosh I hate year in review posts! and then I think, why am I reading them, then? And then I answer, maybe I actually love year in review posts, a little, because they just tie things up with a neat bow and make it all about tomorrow and that’s so hopeful! So then I think, maybe I should write one, too.

Well, what do I review? If you’ve been reading this blog since January and I think most of you have, you’ve seen it all. In all its gory detail.

I think I’ll pretend I’m Harper’s Index.

***

Health and Politics:

Number of teeth Fresco started the year with: 0
Number of teeth Fresco ends the year with: 7.5
Number of teeth Fresco has chipped, I think: 1

Number of times our Prime Minister has prorogued Parliament, which is also to say, number of times our Prime Minister has said, Fooey, I don’t WANNA go to work!: 1 (I would say 2, but I think the last time was around this time last year so not technically part of 2009)(but COME ON)

Number of times I have wanted to murder the phrases, “Going forward” and “moving forward:” 5,488

Family members who have gone forward, that is to say, died, last first: Great Grandma S, Uncle K, Uncle G, Uncle S. Rest in peace, all of you.
Favourite uncles who are currently having therapy for brain tumors: 1
Not-favourite uncles who are currently laid up in an Italian hospital, bossing the nurses: 1

Meanwhile, In Our House:

Flus: 2
Flu shots: 1
Flus since flu shots: 0
Colds: 17
Random illness, me: 1
Random vomiting, Trombone: 1
Random shouting, Fresco: Much reduced but still too high to count.
Menstrual cycles, me: 11
Tampons purchased / disposed of: 0 (everywoman of bleeding age, get a diva cup now!)

Hours of sleep we had per night before sleep training Fresco (average): 4
Hours of sleep we have had per night since sleep training Fresco (exact): 8
How many kisses I have for Dr. Ferber: 1,000,000,000,000

Leisure Activities

Times Barbara-Ann listened to: 150
Times Crazy Train listened to: 35
Times Christmas Elmo listened to: MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ELMO!!!!

Number of guitars in the house, including cardboard: 5
Number of drums in the house: 1
Number of books: a million?
Authors Fresco knows the names of: Boynton, Seuss
Publishers Trombone knows the names of: Random House, Harper Collins

Favourite tv show, Trombone: The Wiggles
Favourite tv show, Fresco: Baby Einstein’s Meet the Orchestra
Favourite tv shows, me: Anything the children are watching that allows me to drink my coffee in peace. Also, Being Erica and 30 Rock.
Favourite tv shows, me & SA: New Westminster City Council Meeting, every Monday at 8 pm.

Most consumed food, children: noodles
Most consumed food, adults: burritos
Most consumed adult beverage: coffee, homebrewed beer, gin (3-way tie)

Saint Aardvark:

Batches of beer SA has brewed: approximately 10?
Batches of bread SA has baked: approximately 50?
Hours SA commutes per week: 15
Hours SA complains about his commute, yearly total: 0.8
Money SA earns, yearly total: All of it
Right I have to complain about anything, ever: 0

Me

Pants purchased: 5
Shoes purchased: 1 (THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT)
Random hooded sweatshirts purchased at Value Village that I thought would change my life: 3
Amount of my life that has been changed by said hooded sweatshirts: 0.67 %
Good haircuts: 3
Bad haircuts: 2
Home hairdye adventures: 1 (Also can’t be right.)

Movies seen in theatre: 1
Shows seen live: 0
Beers drunk in pubs: 7
Cigarettes smoked: 0
Pot smoked: 0
Cocaine, heroin, meth: 0, 0, 0

Cookie exchange parties attended: 1
Evenings spent drinking wine with women wearing black: 3
Children’s birthday parties: 2
Playdates attended: 5
Water parks attended: Every day all summer long.

Social media joined: 2
Unjoined: 2
Rejoined: 2

Times kitchen floor washed: 1
Times bathrooms cleaned: not nearly enough
Main floor vacuumed: once a week since we bought the new vacuum. Dysons & diva cups, people, I’m telling you.

Relation between social media and kitchen floor: probably closer than I think

How the hell do you wrap one of these things up? I have to go make a lasagna!

Biggest hope for 2010: to stay out of the way of the Olympics
Other, quite big hopes for 2010: to use my voice, be what I want the world to be, not be sick on my birthday. And to find the perfect jeans.

Good wishes for you: countless. Easily in the trillions of zillions by now.