Dudes. I need to know EVERY SINGLE BIRTHDAY for EVERY SINGLE ONE of you. Female readers only, plz. Penises need not apply. Because I am going to buy up the entire stock of “It’s Not the Age, It’s the Attitude!” Dolly Mama’s (sic) and give them away to you. Just like Oprah! Cheesefairy’s year of giving starts NOW!
OK, you’re right. I am being sarcastic.
But look: Celebrate your carefree spirit with this zany new Dolly Mama’s figurine, “It’s Not the Age, It’s the Attitude!” Every humourous detail will leave you laughing, from this sassy sister’s stylish hat and oversized martini, to her whimsical sign that says it all. Don’t you want that? Don’t you want to be left laughing by an oversized martini? Zany chicks.
Actually, martinis. (or is it “Martini’s”? NO IT IS NOT) Hm. No, nevermind.
What I don’t understand, because dollymama.com is currently experiencing an SQL problem, is why there is a possessive apostrophe involved in this trainwreck of a mantle ornament. Calling a line of strange, sassy, purple and red female figurines (the) Dolly Mamas is bad enough (really. Bad. Enough.) but why you gotta punctuate like that?
Or is there a grammatical thingeemadoo that I am unfamiliar with? I am pretty slaphazard when it comes to grammar. I vaguely recall something about words ending in a vowel having different pluralization rules than everyone else. Like the “if you think people might get confused by this then you can break the rules of grammar for the sake of clarity.” Bah.
All of this reminds me that years ago I had an idea for a toy: Pocket Prophets. They would be little prophet figurines about GI Joe size and they would each come with a little scroll with an appropriate quotation from the Bible. Religious Action Figures! Collect them all! Years ago I thought this was crazy but now I am starting to wonder if perhaps it is not and I should go make a million dollars.
(A cursory google has revealed no such pre-existing toy. There is, however, a Christian metal band called Back Pocket Prophet. They’re not so bad. Y’know. For metal.)
Tags: great ideas I will never act on, music, religion, tv week inserts make me crazy
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Incorrect use of apostrophe’s is one of the worst mistake’s of all time. It even felt ugly and awkward to type that. Yet SO SO MANY do it all the time – at work, on facebook, on blogs. Clambering off the soapbox to hand the spot back to you now…
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I have seen Jesus and Moses action figures. I have seen Freud action figures. They are good ideas. They were not called Pocket Prophets, though. That has a snazzy ring to it.
I think if someone gave their older girlfriend that hilarious figurine, they’d be fully justified in returning it with a hilarious stomp on the toes.
I hates misuse of apostrophes but at the same time, I empathize. People that don’t really care about spelling and language are confused by spelling and language and my heart goes out to them in a lot of ways. I pity them. They’re like zoo animals that have never seen nature.
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If you get that for me for my birthday, I will fucking kill you.
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The red hat is whats doing it for me. (Please don’t think I’m a dullard – misuse of apostrophe for effect only!).
Is this somehow tied to those women who wear all the red and purple? Those women confuse me. It’s like they’re trying to be all sassy and mature, but then the intentionally *crrrazy* hats just make me think of dress-up time at the old folks home.
Love pocket prophets. The scroll is the best part. You should make them like webkinz (or whatever they are called) and have a whole online universe of prophesy-related fun.
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Randi – you’ll notice that the Sassy Figurine is clear about not being affiliated with the Red Hat Society.
The red hat ladies is a whole other ball’o'wack I am not tackling today.
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There are two parts to my comment. Firstly, I have called your mother-in-law Dolly for years, to the point where occasionally someone who does not know us well has called her Dolly thinking that is her name. And our friend Gerry has for years when he walks into our house will copy me and call “Dolly I’m home.
as you know Gerry is one of the gang that comes here every November to hunt deer. that is always a time of stress for Val and the boys do their best to jolly her. In fact a few years ago Gerry took to calling her the Dolly Mama!
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One of my favourite books is “Eats shoots and leaves”…. fun with grammar!
(oh, and May 5, for the record
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